I’m a little afraid to talk about it, but my cucumbers seem pretty happy these days. They usually get off to a good start, only to wilt about the time I start thinking about the wonderful taste of homemade pickles. So keep it a secret, okay — so far, so good.

Though it’s too danged hot and dry for me to be pulling weeds from the garden, the weather is perfect to pick cute little cukes every day or two to toss in a salad.

I’m not sure when exactly it turned to high summer (I think I missed about a week painting the inside of the chicken coop), but I haven’t quite caught up yet. So until I’m ready to get dust off the canning stuff to make pickles, I could use some ideas or recipes for using my cucumbers.

How do you like to eat them best? Do you have a recipe you’d share? Anyone know which kinds I’m growing here in the pic? Once again, I started several kinds from seed and lost track of which was which.

From simple salted slices to Asian-inspired noodle salads, I am crazy for cucumbers. Every April, I eagerly start a few plants from seed. By July, my cucumbers hang — misshapen and mealy — on a withered vine. By August, I have to shop the farmer’s markets for my summer fix.

Despite three years of failure, I remain optimistic and started another batch of seeds. To my surprise, my little over achievers were the first veggies to sprout in the CPPC (Cat-Proof Protection Chamber). Their secondary leaves grew quickly, and soon afterwards, these bold little sprouts were bursting out of their small planter. Seed staring mix is mostly peat — Great for moisture, but not for nutrients. It was time to upgrade to a bigger container with better soil.

I swung by the Linden Hills Co-op for a few groceries and couple bags of potting mix. I was in a hurry and didn’t bother read the label. Potting mix is potting mix, right?

Um, wrong.

I’m not sure what “Father Dom’s” organic soil mix looks like, but I’m sure it’s not much different than Father Dom’s organic potting mix — a disappointing bag of dirt clods, rocks and plastic chunks. Despite the label, this mix was totally inappropriate container gardening. The roots of my tender seedlings could never penetrate such thick muck.

I turned the bag over and read the fine print: “We use all natural organic material and do not use peat or sphagnum moss, which many times are stripped from the ground in an environmentally damaging manner.”

Father Dom was doing the right thing, but unfortunately, he wasn’t doing right by my seedlings. Luckily, I still had half a bag of seed starter left. I mixed the two together as Mr. Puff supervised over my shoulder.

I was feeling pretty good about my progress, but pretty conflicted about the peat. Are peat bogs in crisis? I know there are alternatives like coconut fiber, but is there a locally produced substitution? What about straight up compost? (I guess it’s time to do a little Greengirl research… )

Peat questions aside, it there a flower, fruit or veggie you can’t grow? How does one overcome your garden-variety failures?

So, did I mention that I started a bunch of melons from seed this spring? Did I mention that I had a few problems?

Like, just as soon as I’d planted them, the whole tray of seeds tipped over and it rained soil and seeds all over my three-tiered seed starting rack. Soon I had melons coming up in my tomatoes and oregano.

And then, after I replanted them, I was hardening them off outside and the sun bleached the writing off the tags, so I was left with identical blank white tags on every single melon.

I planted them anyway of course, but even as they ripen, I haven’t a clue what’s what. Sure, I can tell the muskmelon and the watermelon apart. But I don’t know a thing about melons beyond that.

Below are some pics of various melons growing in my garden. If you know what any of them are, or how I can tell when they are ripe, please, please tell me!

	Mystery melon 1 is the size of a basketball. It looks like a honeydew to me. Of course I can’t remember exactly what I planted.
	Mystery melon 2 is smallish, dark green with a ghost of lighter green ribs.
	Mystery melon 3 is also smallish and dark green, but it has very visible ribs.
	Mystery melon 4 has classic muskmelon netting.
	Mystery melon 5 is clearly some kind of watermelon.
	Mystery melon 6 looks like a muskmelon that got sandblasted.
	Mystery melon 7 also looks like it’ll be a watermelon of some kind when it grows up.
	Mystery melon 8 is not a melon, of course. Just checking to see if you were still reading.

Last year, Rebecca K. gave me a Suyo Long seedling. It took me a year to admit that I killed it. She laughed at me and confided that she had killed hers, too.

Rebecca vowed to test her luck again and this year, to my shock and delight, she trusted me with another seedling.

My Suyo Long got off to a late start, but blossomed all the same. The squirrels ate the low hanging fruit, but one strange curly cuke has survived.

Have you grown Suyo Longs? Is there enough growing season for this cuke curiosity to mature? More important, what do they taste like?

My first year in the garden, I harvested five cukes before the plant got mildew and died.

The second year, I planted cucumber seeds in a patio pot. They sprouted and bloomed, then I forgot to water. By July, a mercy killing was in order.

This year, I am determined to break my cucumber curse and turn my garden into a cornucopia of cukes. I started my seeds indoors and saved sunny spot (usually reserved for tomatoes and peppers) for my seedlings. I also bought a trellis to keep the fruit off the ground — and the squirrels from stealing.

Soon, the leaves grew big and green. Yellow flowers blossomed on the vine. I ate my very first cuke in the beginning of July.

Now, we get two or three a week. Some are straight, but others have these curious curved tails.

At first, I blamed the heat wave for my misshapen fruit, but now I suspect something a little more sinister… Is this a pollination problem? A watering issue? Or has my cucumber curse returned?