It’s been another fruitful trip to la-la land, although I could have done with the site of my fellow critics trying to keep up with the “Dancing With the Stars” pros at last night’s party. Here’s a few nuggets from my final days:

Matt Groening, creator of “The Simpsons”:
“You know what really bothers me about animation? Every one of those CGI animated movies that has a cute animal in it, for me they look like toys. They look like figurines that you would see in the toy store. But that’s OK. I can get by that. It’s that they have human eyeballs with little human irises, and so whenever I’m watching any of those movies, I get freaked out because I go, ‘They put human eyeballs in those characters.’ That really bugs me. So I like the fact that I get to work with animators who is are able to draw almost perfect circles, little ovals with dots. That’s an eyeball.”

Legendary actress Joan Leslie on the first day of shooting “Sgt. York”:
“I met this wonderful-looking creature, this Gary Cooper with the handsomest, sweetest-looking face. And I didn’t know what to say. And he felt that, so he addressed me first and said, ‘Howdy, Miss Gracie. And I said, “Oh, howdy, Alvin.’ And he referred to me as Gracie, my part in the picture. So we called each other Alvin and Gracie all the way through the picture. I never called him Gary. I thought that would be very presumptuous on my part.”

“Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane, appearing after a Fox News panel:
“This is where Karl Rove sat, ‘cause I don’t want to get AIDS.”

Richard Lewis on his comic influences:
“My parents used to hide their Redd Foxx albums with the condoms in the bedroom.”

Jane Seymour, star of the upcoming Lifetime movie “Dear Prudence”:
“I think some people who do ‘Dancing With The Stars’ do it to get into reality programming. I am not a reality person. I like drama. I have enough reality. I have six kids.”

Celebs often whisper among themselves when they’re sitting together on a panel, but the conversation between Peter Krause and Lucy Liu of “Dirty Sexy Money” seemed particularly, well, interesting, with Liu erupting in giggles. When one reporter asked if they would reveal the contents of their private chat, they both declined. “I feel like I just got caught passing notes in school,” Krause said.

The first question at the press conference for ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson, came from a particularly pushy reporter from the back, who insisted on knowing whether the network was going to abandon Jimmy Kimmel for Jay Leno. “If you do that, do you worry that something might happen to you or your car?” It slowly became clear the loudmouth with the mike was none other than Kimmel himself who then snuck out the back to big laughs.

Monday night, I had dinner at the famous Ford’s Filling Station (owned by Harrison Ford’s son) with “10 Items or Less” star Kirsten Gronfield who couldn’t be more grounded and funnier. Plus, she’s got great taste in food. She promises to make a couple appearances at the Minnesota State Fair. If you see her, buy her something deep-fried.  Afterwards, I stopped by my favorite watering hole in Beverly Hills, Roni’s Diner, where there’s never a dull moment. In the past week, I’ve shut the places down with the irreverent owners and watched one of the cooks chase down a homeless, barefoot thief who stole his bike. Last night, our waitress, an actress who has appeared on “Dawson’s Creek” and “Greek” ended her shift by sitting down with us for over an hour and regaling us with stories about the size of various actors’, um, members. Yes, it’s that kind of bar.

Speaking of members, I’m still recovering from the tiny firestorm I created by asking the PBS president whether they would show Ian McKellen in the nude for the Great Performances’ presentation of “King Lear.” She was not exactly Shakespearean in her dodge of an answer. Reporters are also trying to get over Dennis Hopper’s appearance for Starz’ “Crash” in which he referred to his little buddy at least a half dozen times.

The most buzzed about panel at TCA was Karl Rove’s appearance for Fox  News. One reporter asked him if he minded that cartoons on Fox often made fun of him. He replied that he wasn’t familiar with the shows, but panelist Chris Wallace sort of “outed” him. He said there were lots of “Family Guy” and “Simpsons” toys backstage and at one point he lifted up a baby doll to show his colleague. “Stewie!” Rove replied.

There wasn’t supposed to be any celebrities at the fancast cocktail party, so I did a double take when I spotted “The Office” star Leslie David Baker on the balcony. (he plays Stanley). He shared some great stories about his summer in Italy and the pleasures of success in middle-age. Look for him to make a guest appearance on the very funny “Office” web-isodes, starring our own Brian Baumgartner.

In other news, Minnesota’s Aaron Brown is back from Jordan. Saw him last night at a cocktail party right after his first reporting assignment for PBS’s “Wide Angle.” This longrunning doc series usually buys material. This is the first time they are doing a piece on their own. Brown sounded thrilled to be back on the reporting beat. “It’s great to have summer job,” he told me, referring to the fact that he teaches in Arizona the rest of the year. “Everyone should have one.”

The real nostalgia moment came earlier in the day with a panel dedicated to an ambitious, multi-night documentary, “You Must Remember This: The Warner Bros. Story.” It airs in late September and I’ll pass along a review later this summer. For now, the stars are the thing. The panel included Oscar winner Jon Voight, directors Frank Darabont (”Shawshank Redemption”), director Richard Donner (”Superman”) and Joan Leslie, the love interest in “Sgt. York” and “Yankee Doodle Dandy.” She looked tremendous. Too many great Hollywood anecdotes to share them all, but I’ll pass along two.

Donner waxed nostalgically about Bob Daley and Terry Semel, who used to run Warner Bros and he relayed a story about how happy they were when “Lethal Weapon 2″ turned into a huge hit. The two invited Richard and the main producer to a special lunch in their offices, and told Richard to bring Mel Gibson with him. Great, Donner said, and I should bring Danny Glover, too, right? Uh, sure, said the bosses. Well, Donner said, then we’ve got to have the screenwriter as well. Uh, well….Richard kept insisting on the invite list to get longer and longer, until Joe Pesci, Rene Russo and a few others were named. Strangely, the bosses didn’t seem all too excited abou the growing list, but accept Donner’s wishes. When they got there, Richard joked that, in the old days, the execs would have tossed some keys on the table to thank the principles and there would be free Ferraris in the parking lot.

Well, no Ferraris this time. Range Rovers. The bosses had planned on surprising the three main players with Rovers at the end of lunch, but then had to go out and get wheels for everyone. An expensive meal, to be sure.

Jon Voight then shared a memorable moment from filming Deliverance. Here’s the tale in his own words:

We were shooting in Georgia and the only thing that gave us any connection to civilization was that we would be down in this gorge, you know, like maybe 50 feet down in this gorge and there’s a river and we’d be on rocks and sitting. And in the early morning, we would watch our chairs being dropped by rope down the thing. Of course, we didn’t need the chairs. This was a little reminder that we were still
civilized.
But Burt (Reynolds) would always sit in my chair. Now, I didn’t give a damn, of course. You know what I mean? But I did notice it. Every day for two weeks he’s sitting in my chair. And I finally — which is probably what he had prepared, you see, because Burt was a rascal, you know, of the highest rank. I said, “Burt, let me ask you a
question.” “I’d be delighted to talk to you, Jon.”

By the way, Burt knew that this role was going to make him. We all knew that, you
know. And I said, “Burt you sit in the chair, and every day for two
weeks you sat in my chair. Oh, I don’t care, but can I ask you why?” He said, “I’d be delighted to tell you, Jon.”

He said, “You see, when I sit in your chair, I can see my name in my chair.”

Just had a session with Sir George Martin, the legendary producer for The Beatles, a man who certainly deserves enormous respect. Too bad someone in the sound department didn’t feel the same way. After his session, the tune “Get Back” filled the room. Catchy number - but it was one of the few Beatles hits NOT produced by Martin. Ouch.

Before the slight (unintentional I’m sure) Sir Martin was kind enough to tell me his favorite Beatles tune: “In My Life.” No big surprise, since it’s a pretty “produced” number. Martin said he wrote and performed the interlude while Paul and John were off having “a cup of tea.”

SHIRLEY’s WORLD

Shirley MacLaine, who’s starring in the biopic, “Coco Chanel,” for Lifetime brought down the house with her no-nonsense wit and cutting lines. In between her “stand-up act,” I asked her if there were any other historic figures she’s interested in playing: “Georgia O’Keefe,” she said. “because she also was a contradiction. She stood as a feminist and a person who was independent of men, but it wasn’t really true. And I love playing that contradiction of somebody who is a great artist, who goes to live alone, who says
that she doesn’t want to be with a man, and her art becomes her lover, really.”

PARY SCENE

Interesting trio of cocktail parties Friday night, starting with a Lifetime soiree. My favorite moment was a chance to chat with “Best in Show” actress Jennifer Coolidge. That was followed by the main event with many of the stars under the Turner banner including HOlly Hunter, Kyra Sedgwick, Jane Kaczmarek and Bill Engvall. While talking to some CNN folks, I mentioned how confused and underwhelmed I was by their “giant touch screen” that John King uses during political coverage. About five minutes later, there was a tap on my shoulder. “I heard you don’t like my screen,” King said.

He was very good natured about it and we had a nice chat. Also enjoyed talking to two Minneapolis actress, Kristin Gronfeld of “10 Items or Less” and Beth Reisgraf of the upcoming thriller series, “Leverage,” which stars Timothy Hutton. The evening ended with a rock band introduced by Joan Rivers. I’m not kidding. It may have been the worst pairing since Lisa Marie Presley married Michael Jackson.

The last couple working parties were another matter. Cable networks seem to think that some piped-in tunes and free booze is what the critics want. Wrong (well, at least on the tunes part). Our readers can’t share any of that. We want talent, folks we can quote for stories for you all to enjoy over your decaffeinted lattes. Last night’s party for GSN was so star-starved I ended up talking with “Hollywood Squares” creator Merrill Heatter. Nice guy, but not exactly front-page material. I did get one interesting piece of trivia from him: Who was the original center square? (Answer at the end of blog).

One true star did grace us with his presence Thursday. Elvis Costello is the host of a new talk show on Sundance Channel, “Spectacle.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t air until December, but based on the clips I’ve seen, it looks fantastic. I’ll write more about the show and Elvis closer to the premiere date, but I did want to share Elvis’s response when I asked him what young, up ‘n’ coming artists he liked these days. Here’s what he said: “I’m always a bit reluctant to name them, not because I can’t recall their names, but because they don’t necessarily want my stamp of approval. That might kind of make them unhip.”

Some other notes of interest:

PLAYING BALL

“30 By 30″ is ESPN’s 2009 project in which 30 top documentarians will contribute pieces to run throughout the year. Make tht 29 top doc directors and 1 amateur who goes by the name Steve Nash. Yep, that Steve Nash, one of the greatest basketball players to walk the earth. He’ll be doing a film about Terry Fox, the Canadian cancer victim who attempted to walk across his country to raise money and awareness. Why movies, Steve? “I just love film. I think that just being energetic and passionate abou it, the natural step is to try and create and make things and learn.”

OH, RICKY

The always hilarious Ricky Gervais was on hand. I had hoped to go see his stand-up performance in Los Angeles this weekend, but there’s too much to be done at TCA. I did, however, learn how he broke into the business - at the tender age of 36.

“It wasn’t that romantic struggle of coming up through the clubs. In fact, I think because I started late, I had an older head on my shoulders and we didn’t compromise at all. When we went to the BBC (with “The Office”, it wasn’t a bluff. If they didn’t let me do it my own way, I was going to walk. I really meant it. I look back now, and I shudder. I never networked. I didn’t have burning ambitions to be famous. What excited me was having a chance to write and direct my own sitcom. It was a dream I had from 36.”

SIMON SAYS

Why is David Simon one of the most important people in entertainment? Because his work - “The Wire,” “The Corner,” Generation Kill” refuses to talk down to people. It may not make him a commercial giant, but it makes him compelling to those of us who want to be challenged between episodes of “According to Jim.” Here’s his take on his style: “I think it’s a deeper and more resonant journey for viewers. Instead of leaning back and absorbing TV on the couch, maybe you are a little bit pressed forward, leaning in, trying to catch more nuance in this world. We make you work, but at the end, there’s more of a payoff than doing TV the old way.”

I’ll have more for you on Saturday. Got to run. Don’t want to keep Spartacus waiting.

Oh, trivia answer: Ernest Borgnine.

FOREVER YOUNG
Sean Young is better known in her career for her nutty off-screen roles (drunk at the DGA awards show, stalker in a catsuit at Tim Burton’s door) than she is for her on-screen ones. But she says those days are behind her. “I do yoga three times a week. I raise my kids,” she said. “I guess in January of this year when I got drunk at the DGA, I think I just went, ‘I’ve had enough.’ For a lot of years I was feeling social anxiety about some of the stuff I went through in my career that I always felt was sort of unfair. But my social anxiety has sort of turned into social hostility. I just don’t want to deal with it anymore.”

Uh, good for you, Sean. So….why are you starring in the second season of the ridiculous CMT reality show, “Gone Country”? Guess a girl has to put food on the table. BTW, if you’ve already exhausted all the titles in Oprah’s Book Club, take Sean’s pick. For no apparent reason, she told reporters that she just finished “The Red Tent.”

FOX TROT

Vivica A. Fox, one of the appropriately named people on the planet, said she doesn’t know if there will be another season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” but she’s game if Larry David gives the thumbs up. Fans know that Larry got dumped by his TV wife last season and ended up in the arms of Fox. Seems to me that David & company have at least one more solid season left in them.

HOLY SMOKES!

The cast of “Mad Men” looked particularly dapper for their session, including Minnesota’s own Vincent Kartheiser (he plays Pete) who went out of his way to stop and say hello. Nothing else on his slate right now, he says, but he’s auditioning for films and hopes to do a play soon. Surely we can find something for our native son in the Twin Cities? Knowing Vincent a little, he’s entirely different from his TV character. He’d be great in a madcap comedy, one that would allow him to burn off more of that creative, wacky energy. Season Two starts July 27. The conference ended with January Jones and Elisabeth Moss rushing outside for smokes. I’m sure it was just part of character development.

THE UNKNOWN COMIC

Dave Attell, host of Comedy Central’s new version of “the Gong Show,” said he hasn’t had a chance to talk to Chuck Barris about filling his mighty shoes (Barris did give his blessing to producers), but he’d love to have the master come by and pay a visit.

“I love his stuff. I think that he really did kind of break the mold.,” Attell. “If this does go to series and down the road if he wants to come on, that would be great. He should just send us a tape. Just kidding.”

THE DOCTOR IS OUT

It’s rare that a month passes by when some reader doesn’t ask me if there’s going to be another “Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman” movie, even though the series last ran back when Annie Oakley was walking the Earth. I decided to finally ask the Doc herself.

“No. Les Moonves does not want to make anymore,” said star Jane Seymour, referring to the CBS head honcho. “But i do have all the clothes.”

Seymour is hoping “Quinn” fans will tune in to her next project, “Dear Prudence,” part of Hallmark Channel’s rotating mystery-movie series. She plays a Martha Stewart-like advisor who almost accidentally solves murders.
More tomorrow!

That’s the common greeting, or a slight variation thereof, at the TV Critics Press Association, the Los Angeles event where big-name celebrities and lowly, nerdy journalists breath the same precious air. At least that’s been the tradition. An alarming number of the country’s top scribes are no longer attending this event, the victims of downsizing at newspapers across the country that seem to think that they can get all their TV news from the wires, a trend that may lead to only 8 or 9 professional reporters will be covering the whole industry. That seems to be just fine with the LA publications. They treat out-of-towners like we’re a bunch of illegal immigrants who crashed a Lou Dobbs BBQ. Hey, locals, Hollywood belongs to everyone, even us Minnesotans, or, as you affectionately call us, “Ohioans.”

This press tour, which is approximately 341 years old, was designed for us “foreigners,” folks that usually don’t the access to the executives, actors and writers who make TV tick. For a few weeks a year, we get the chance to report on the stories that matter most to our readers, stuff we can’t get from anywhere else, stuff that may be missed by those who are blinded to great trends and profiles because they’ve spent too much baking under the rays of the Hollywood sign, stuff that spotlights local talent that is making it big out here, stuff that helps fuel and fatten important issues and debate. Competition is good - and it’s dying.

TV critics are becoming as extinct as the white elephant, a real headscratcher in an era where the interest in the media is second only to our fascination with sports, politics and miniature dogs.

So who is filling the seats at press conferences and standing in line in front of me at the bar at night? Bloggers, that’s who. I hate, hate, hate bloggers. I don’t know why anyone would waste their time writing one, let along reading…

Whoops. I forgot that I’ve already crossed over to the dark side.

I actually like the format, and get a kick out of this more informal communication device, but too many bloggers out here sit on their hands at Q&A sessions and spend time at the nightly cocktail parties gawking at stars (OOOOH! Howie Mandel!!!) and not asking penetrating questions. They just want to observe. And dish. And gawk some more. Fine. Don’t let me stop you. But if “journalism” is going to be filled with more and more wallflowers at the expense of die-hard, professional, dedicated “geezers” who are out here for more than the buffet and the chance to smell Jane Seymour’s hair, well, we’ve got a problem, Houston.

Enough whining. Time to get to work.  Well, almost time. I think I just spotted Wolf Blitzer by the pool….

TOP 10 COMEDY SERIES FINALISTS
“Curb Your Enthusiasm” (”The Bat Mitzvah”)
“Entourage” (”The Day F***ers”)
“Family Guy” (”Padre de Famila”)
“Flight of the Conchords” (”Sally Returns”)
“The Office” (title to come)
“Pushing Daisies” (”Pie-lette”)
“30 Rock” (”Cooter”)
“Two and a Half Men” (”Rough Night in Hump Junction”)
“Ugly Betty” (”Something Wicked This Way Comes”)
“Weeds” (”Go”).

TOP 10 DRAMA SERIES FINALISTS
“Boston Legal” (”The Court Supreme”)
“Damages” (Pilot)
“Dexter” (”The Dark Defender”)
“Friday Night Lights” (”Leave No One Behind”)
“Grey’s Anatomy” (”Freedom, Parts 1 and 2″)
“House” (”Frozen”)
“Lost” (”The Constant”)
“Mad Men” (Pilot, “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes”)
“The Tudors” (#205)
“The Wire” (Series finale, “30″)

A few instant reactions: Thrilled to see The Wire, Damages, Dexter, Mad Men and Friday Night Lights all in contention. In fact, that would be a fine final five for me.

Still trying to figure out how “Family Guy” snuck in there. Not that I don’t find it hilarious, but I thought animated shows did not qualify (how else to explain why “The Simpsons” has been shunned year after year. I’ll look into it. Kind of surprised that “Desperate Housewives” is nowhere to be found. Wasn’t this supposed to be its comeback year? My top five out of the bunch: “Curb,” “Office,” “Weeds,” “30 Rock” and…toss up between “Flight” and “Entourage.” Let’s go with the new kids and root for “Flight.”

Your thoughts?

The most pleasant kids seem to have - surprise, surprise - the most pleasant parents. I spent a good chunk of last Sunday with Miranda Cosgrove, the 15-year-old star of Nick’s “iCarly” (a full profile will be available online this weekend and in Sunday’s paper). Not only was Miranda charming, well-behaved and kind to everyone, but her mother was an absolute peach, one who didn’t seem to give one iota about all the attention around Miranda and her entourage.  Her focus was on making sure her daughter was fine. I felt the same way about Jennifer Love Hewitt. I interviewed her during her “Party of Five” days when she came to the Mall of America with her mom, a delightful, funny, down-to-earth person. It’s come as no surprise to me that her daughter has grown up with the same qualities.

I had a great time backstage at “Hannah Montana” mostly because Miley Cyrus was a real, honest teenager with loads of energy and sincerity. Her dad, Billy Ray, wasn’t there that afternoon, but her grandmother was, and I could tell by the way they swapped family stories that this was a tight group.

Then there are the stage parents that make you ache for their poor offspring. One only has to tune into an episode of “Living Lohan” to get a sense of why Lindsay is in such dire straits time and time again. I remember being at an LA party about eight years ago when the mom of a then-popular star of a network series proceeded to get pretty sloshed - and her teenage daughter/meal ticket wasn’t even at the party.

I guess she figured that by giving birth to the celeb, she had every right to work the room like she was in demand. Needless to say, neither mom nor daughter have been seen much these days.

I don’t really have a good assessment of Miranda’s talent. I enjoyed her in “School of Rock” and she’s just fine on “iCarly.” But I’m willing to bet on a successful future, no matter what she does for a living. And I’m willing to bet her parents will deserve a lot of the credit.

Which teen stars do you think will be around years from now? Who are the red-hot personalities I should be writing about? Your wish is my command…