Bride on a budget
Posted on June 18th, 2007 – 11:25 AMBy Kara McGuire
Note: It’s all about weddings this week on Ka-Blog. Business writer and bride-to-be Aimee Blanchette is filling in for Kara, who’s away at a wedding.
As soon as I got engaged six months ago I embraced the
70 Responses to "Bride on a budget"
We are going to hit the two months from wedding mark next week. Cost saving for our wedding includes ordering flowers wholesale online and styling bouquets ourselves ($285 for flowers, another $20 for supplies - for a bridal party of 14 and 20 reception tables), making our own invitiations and centerpieces, and scheduling the ceremony and reception later in the day so we could do just dessert and hors’d'ouerves instead of a full dinner. Bravo to you for keeping it under $5k! Our guest list is around 300 so we’re planning for around 225-240 people. I’m hoping we can keep it to $10k. My fiance’s parents are handling the pre-wedding dinner (for immediate family and bridal party - we chose this in lieu of a groom’s dinner) and they have also generously offered to cover the reception site rental and alcohol. My parents paid for my dress. Everything else is up to us. I’ve been married once before, and the things that broke the budget last time for me, were the small last minute things that you don’t think of like nice underwear for the wedding night, gifts for everyone involved in the ceremony, accessories…
Way to go Aimee! Spending your life savings on your wedding isn’t the wisest investment. We’re planning our wedding to be “green” (see 3/25/07 Star Tribune article in “Money & Business” section) without spending too much green from our wallets. One example is our outfits. We’re saving a decent chunk of cash, and the environment, by dressing in clothes that we can wear again.
We were pretty diciplined with our budget, only missed it by $400 or so. I forgot to include the price of stamps for the invitations and reply cards. Oops. We also decided to have a wedding party get together BBQ a few months before the wedding, so that amount included the food/beverages for the extremely worthwhile event.
What helped most was being organized. That way I could shop sales, use coupons for the invitations/decorations at Michaels, and really plan things out. Plus my husband found the groomsmen gifts (4 engraved pint glasses) for buy 1 get 1, so they ended up being about $16 each.
Sounds like you guys have a great plan, just make sure you give yourself a little bit of padding, in case you make the same mistake I did!
We, like you, had a very strict budget of $5,000. One way we saved $ was with the wedding location, an old beautiful church with a hotel-like fellowship hall for the reception (very budget friendly.) We also saved on the caterer, my mom knew a lady that did food/cakes and so she did both for me very reasonably. But you could enlist friends/family to prepare and serve the food and help with waitressing. I agree with Sarah, being organized and taking advantage of sales was HUGE! I also made a lot of my own decorations. Also, I limited the flowers, they are very expensive so I only gave to the wedding party. I know you can have a fairytale wedding on $5,000-I did it!
I still have over a year to stay under my budget. So far, we are about a quarter of the way there it (it includes everything from tissue paper for the out-of-town bags to the cost of the rings). We started at saying we wouldn’t spend more than $40,000. (Oh goodness, gasps all around!!!!!!!!!) and at this point I know that we will end up under $20,000. WHICH is just fine with us. We have plenty in savings that we’ve been putting away for the past year, get back good at taxes and now with owning a home, even better come tax time, plus, I get a decent bonus every year and sales are right where they should be right now! Am I spending money on things I prolly wouldn’t need.. of course I am. BUT, I want to. Already a year out and I have all but one thing bought for our wedding party gifts and ALL things I’m taking something simple and making it personalized with my own ideas. The Knot is a great website to find DIY (do-it-yourself tasks). So far, from the people that have seen or talked to me about it I’ve gotten nothing but compliments. Our parents are helping out only a little bit - but we couldn’t be MORE thankful for their help if we wanted! We went into planning for NO help from them and the help we do get is great!! Micheals and JoAnn’s 40% off coupons are HUGE if you have time to spend going once every week or so to use the coupon. Shopping on Ebay for things like veils, tiaras and crinoline is also huge. I paid an extra $100 for my dress (includes ALL alterations and steam cleaings!) and by doing so the mothers and bridesmaids saved 10% on their dresses. We utilized the wedding fair for our tux rentals and received three free tuxes and $40 off of everyone elses rentals. I’m utilizing my print vender through work and paying only $75 for all invite, RSVP and program printing (all four-color). All I can say is that $20,000 for a 300 person wedding (EVERYTHING included) I’m not complaining. We aren’t doing EVERYTHING that we wanted and we arn’t not doing something either of us has ever dreamed of doing either. We love how things are progressing so far! By buying one or two things every paycheck and spreading it over the next year is helping us out a ton. This way, I can assemble, paint, order things slowly and then not have HUGE expenses up front come a month before the wedding. Just goes to show that even if you want that top notch photographer and want to invite 300 people that it can all be done for a reasonible amount. That is only $66 on average a person.. instead of $133 with our original budget.
For the actual wedding, we decided to have a destination wedding that would be our wedding and honeymoon combined. We hopped aboard a cruise to Alaska, inviting only our parents to celebrate the big day. Then when we returned we started planning a reception to celebrate with all of our friends and family.
We kept reception costs low by planning early. My husband and I are not fancy people, much prefer the outdoors to some fancy sit down place. So for us, it was a reservable site at a local state park (we had a roof over our heads, private bathrooms, electricity and water for under $75 for the entire day). Once we knew the site, we used the coupons that are received every week from Michaels and purchased bits and pieces each week/month, instead of trying to do a bulk buy. I got almost everything needed for decorations 50-75% off.
We then asked family for assistance, since we were playing for the wedding and reception ourselves, we asked our parents to chip in by helping us make all of the food ourselves. Again, we are not fancy people, we preferred a relaxed BBQ feel to anything else. So we had an abundance of food, fun and entertainment.
It was a beautiful day and everyone had a great time. It was perfect for us, and thats what mattered most!!
We had 85 guests, and our rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, DJ, and honeymoon were under $5,000. The rehearsal dinner was catered and held at the church in a banquet hall. We got married on a Friday, which saved us SEVERAL thousand dollars. Our reception (Jax cafe) had no rental and no minimum for Friday, and if we had it on Saturday it would have been a $10,000 minimum. Our DJ took over half the cost off because it was on a Friday. We stayed at a 4 1/2 star, all inclusive resort in Mexico for 1 week. I made the jewelry for the bridesmaids. I also made beaded flowers for the bouquets. The centerpieces consisted of roses bought from Sam’s Club, vases and candles from Michael’s, and put together myself. My dress was bought during a bridal sale, my husband’s tux was free with all the other rentals from the bridal party. Our photographer was a friend of ours, who is a weding photographer, and he offered his services for free. Oh, and I also made the invitations, with help from a friend.
It was a lot of fun, making all the things I did for the wedding. I think doing all those things helped me NOT become a bridezilla; I found making everything to be very relaxing.
We had 85 guests, and our rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, DJ, and honeymoon were under $5,000. The rehearsal dinner was catered and held at the church in a banquet hall. We got married on a Friday, which saved us SEVERAL thousand dollars. Our reception (Jax cafe) had no rental and no minimum for Friday, and if we had it on Saturday it would have been a $10,000 minimum. Our DJ took over half the cost off because it was on a Friday. We stayed at a 4 1/2 star, all inclusive resort in Mexico for 1 week. I made the jewelry for the bridesmaids. I also made beaded flowers for the bouquets. The centerpieces consisted of roses bought from Sam’s Club, vases and candles from Michael’s, and put together myself. My dress was bought during a bridal sale, my husband’s tux was free with all the other rentals from the bridal party. Our photographer was a friend of ours, who is a weding photographer, and he offered his services for free. Oh, and I also made the invitations, with help from a friend.
It was a lot of fun, making all the things I did for the wedding. I think doing all those things helped me NOT become a bridezilla; I found making everything to be very relaxing.
We stayed within our $5000 budget because we eloped. We both had the wedding of our dreams and with just the two of us at the ceremony (we, of course were required to be there) it made planning and budgeting so much easier.
The biggest expense we’re saving on is food. When we finally found a venue that allowed outside caterers, we realized we weren’t the type of people to dine on herb-encrusted sea bass, so why start at the wedding?
We searched around and found a nice, down-home cafe in Wisconsin that was willing to travel to the Twin Cities at no extra charge to cater the food. For $6.50/person.
Other than that, we’re on track to have a $7,000 wedding for 150 guests. Our most expensive costs will be photography and the venue. Everything else, we’re either doing ourselves (invitations, programs, music) or are lucky enough to have relatives to help out (cake).
The only thing we want people to think is that the wedding reflects who we truly are.
We weren’t too far off from your’s. It can be done. Instead of paying cash for everything, we put as much as we could on a credit card to get miles and paid the bills in full.
Try a photography student.
we were fortunate enough to have a wedding for 200 people for $10,000. Luckily, we got enough wedding gifts to come out even (yes, we really got $10,000 in checks and cash).
I think in order to have these types of weddings, people should stop buying wierd/lame gifts, and just write checks.
$5000 isn’t much for 150 when you figure in professional catering and you’ll never do a honeymoon and a wedding in at figure if you plan on anything nicer than a camping trip. Even $10.50 (which is cheap) a head for a pig roast is $1575!
My partner and I had a wedding ceremony at our church in Minneapolis on May 26. Like you, we set a budget and worked hard to stick with it. By the time all was said and done, we came in at about $6,000 including the rings.
I applaude you for keeping such a tight budget—I regret spending as much as I did on our wedding. About $13,000 for 225 guests. I loved our ceremony and enjoyed our reception, but we didn’t need nearly the extras that I thought we did at the time. In retrospect I would have cut about 3K off the reception and taken an even better honeymoon! However, for some that perfect party is very important!
We managed to keep our personal budget to under $3000 for 150 guests. We ended up splurging on flowers, thanks to a $500 pre-wedding gift from my stepfather, but I don’t count that in our budget since it was paid for by Dad.
We got married at the MN Renaissance Festival. The venue charge was very small (considering the cost of a banquet room). We chose to pay for people to get into the festival (they give a discount to wedding guests) instead of paying for a meal - which came out to be about the same per head as compared to the catering prices we had looked at. (Their catering option was the standard wedding fare, so we decided to skip that and let people eat what they wanted from the vendors.)
I made invitations myself on the computer, as well as the wedding programs.
We hired a RenFest musician for the ceremony - a heck of a lot cheaper than a DJ!!
We hired a friend who had the legal ability to marry us (for the price of tickets to the festival for him and his family and a hotel room for the night).
Through personal connections, we got some RenFest tickets free.
I spent less than $300 on a dress (including alterations).
My bridesmaids paid no more than $100 per dress and they were dresses that could be reworn. (I didn’t pay for them, so it’s not part of the $3000 budget, but it still helped everyone else’s pocketbook!!)
We rented costumes from RenFest for the guys - that was part of the event/location fee.
At the short “reception”, we had cake and coffee, had a quick toast, and then sent our guests off to enjoy the rest of the festival.
We’ve had many comments since about how memorable the event was for everyone, and we’re happy about how we managed everything financially, so we don’t have any regrets.
Just got home from our honeymoon and wedding a week or so ago. We stayed very close to our $5,000 budget.
We took advantage of the generousity of our truly talented friends. We really wanted our wedding to feel like a community event and by getting people involved, our wedding felt so loving and full. Also, your friends and family WANT to help, so if you have talented friends, let them offer up their skills!
1) Photographers/videographers: friends– seriously talented ones. Whew! Everything is being posted on Flickr so people can order prints if they want to.
2) Music- again, two friends. A talented singer and violinist played during our wedding ceremony as their gift to us. For the reception we pre-programmed our iPods with playlists and designated someone to start the iPod at different times so we wouldn’t have to worry about it.
3) Flowers: Again, going for that community feeling, I had a girls flower arranging party the afternoon before the wedding, which was great! I spent about $300 ordering from an online wholesaler (none of them in-town would sell to us) and the flowers were gorgeous– highly recommended: http://www.farmstogo.com or http://www.growersbox.com. The centerpiece containers were from IKEA. (inexpensive glass bowls)
4) Cake: Order 3 round cakes without decoration from a grocery store, which is way cheaper than a fancy bakery. (Just taste first to make sure you still like the cake.) Arrange them on three individual cake platters, then set those on top of boxes of varying heights covered in some nice fabric. Support the underside of the boxes with something sturdy like a stack of dishes. Decorate the cakes with flowers (if you want to go organic, you can buy organic rose petals from californiaorganicflowers.com or meridianriver.com). Put candles on the tables– it will look beautiful.
5) Invitations: Buy the nice paper online or at PaperSource (though they can ad up) and design and print them yourselves. Printers are pretty nice these days and we even received lots of compliments! If you have a graphic designer friend ask him or her to design them for you. Or you can buy packaged designs from PaperSource:
6) RSVPS: have them do it online. We were a bit worried about this at first, but it worked out great, saved postage, and you can even type in dinner selections and have them choose, or disable that part if it’s not needed. We used http://www.weddingtracker.com.
Good luck!
The easiest way to cut costs is to cut the guest list! What helped us the most was finding great but inexpensive vendors on theknot.com - we got such great deals on flowers and the photographer, and we designed our own invites and had them printed. That saved a lot of dough! I spent more on my dress than I anticipated, but food was the most expensive item. That was planned, though. I figure, if I’m treating my friends to a free meal, I’m not serving KFC - I’m going to pay $18/plate for a nice meal.
When we think back to our wedding on a shoestring, my husband of ten years and I wouldn’t have done it any other way. After agonizing over the cost of church and reception hall rental, flowers, music, outfits, and the list goes on, we decided to put our own twist on the traditional wedding.
In lieu of deciding whose church to use, we opted to have my minister come to my parents’ home on a Friday afternoon to perform the fifteen minute ceremony for 35 of our closest family and friends. Music was provided by my mom, a former church organist, on piano and my little brother on guitar. He was also our soloist.
A small lunch was served, provided by my parents, and those who wished to celebrate with us into the evening were invited to a local bar where there was already a live band playing.
The up side to not having every little girl’s dream, the fairytale wedding, was that because we didn’t have to wait a year or more to plan a large wedding. This has been important to us after losing my in-laws within 8 months of our small, personal, and very special ceremony.
$5k for an entire wedding? good luck to you. and i do mean that with the utmost sincerity. can it be done? sure! there are many ways you can cut things back and do things yourself. will you be able to save money by doing lots of things yourself? sure, but it will also undoubtedly raise your stress level and paying more for a wedding is the easiest way to alleviate that, which is one reason why weddings are commonly very expensive. its not easy to have a beautiful and smooth running wedding on a very small budget, but with a lot of work both in planning, on the weeks & months prior as well as on the day of, it can be done.
there are a few ways however that you’ll have to make compromises. some things just cost money if you want quality work. one factor for example to think about is how important your wedding photography is to you. lots of brides will easily spend $5k on their photography alone once all is said and done (and i’m not even touching videography here). good experienced photographers start somewhere around $2-$3k. sure you can get uncle bob to do it for 200 bucks, but do you really trust uncle bob’s artistic sensibilities and acumen behind the lens when it comes to priceless family heirloom memories such as those that capture wedding day?
again, not to say that you can’t do it with that budget in mind, but compromises will have to be made and whether they’re worth it in the end is purely a personal choice.
after all is said and done, do you want to remember how much money you saved on your wedding, or do you want to remember how wonderful it was and how amazing of a time you and all your guests had?
in the end do you want to be telling everyone how amazing your wedding was or do you want to be telling them how cheap weddings can be?
any bride who has an inexpensive wedding will tell you nothing but good things about it. its how they justify it because they cannot change it (and also probably because they could not afford any more). figure out what you truly want your wedding day to be like and go for it. don’t let money be your stumbling block. i’m not saying break the bank here, but if you really only want to do this once in your life, make sure you don’t look back and wish you had done things differently.
Some of what I feel has already been stated here. Your wedding day is of course very very special. It’s easy to say that you don’t need “this” or “that” to make your day special. It’s wonderful to imagine that dreams written from storybooks and made for tv movies can jump off the page or script into your life. Unfortunately living in reality is a much better way to not leave yourself dissapointed on your wedding day.
Paying for food, drinks, beer, and wine for 150 people is going to be expensive. Just that alone could make your leftover budget seem small. You do what you have to do as long as you realize that this is one of the biggest days of your life. Truly you get this day to be the one and only center of attention. It’s all about you, your fiance, and the commitment you make on that day. Penny pinching and compromising constantly just seems silly.
Do the best you can, with what you have, and you’ll be happy. Struggling to spend the least amount you can, just to do so, will undoubtedly leave you with an anti-climactic experience.
We got married May 27th (a Sunday) at a park near my parent’s house - Grand Rapids MN. Because it was on a Sunday, the reception was cheaper. We got quality photography, a great meal, around 85 guests. And we stayed under $5000 for everything (we didn’t really go on a honeymoon).
We found a good freelance photographer that wasn’t $2-$3k as Kristen says - she was around $600. That doesn’t include a video or any larger prints we may want, but you don’t need to spend a fortune if you just look around. Also, we “dj-ed” our own reception with an IPod plugged into the P.A. system. It was hard getting everyone going at first, but once everyone was drinking, no one even noticed and everyone was having fun. That brings up another point - have a cash bar, but maybe provide a keg of beer. With an open bar, a few people hang out at the bar and drink all night, just because they know they don’t have to pay for it.
All in all, we did it, and you can too. I think it helps you’re having it in a backyard up north. Definitely cheaper than the Twin Cities for sure.
Spending more doesn’t neccisarily mean you are being wasteful… keep in mind that you are paying more than just product. You are paying for experience, professional attitude, AND final product among other things.
a wedding photographer for example is something that hinges intensely on experience. I highly doubt someone charging 5 or $600 has anywhere near as much experience as someone that costs $2-3k. An inexperienced photographer most likely is not going to know what to do in an uncomfortable or emergency situation when it comes to scheduling or whatever might come up. Peace of mind and real life experience are both extremely important but intangible things that you just cannot compromise on.
It’s clich
Our budget was higher than $5000 but we still saved a lot of money by…
1. Finding a hall that allowed us to bring in our own catering and alcohol. My mom owns a bar and we got the liquor, beer and wine wholesale. We were able to offer an open bar for 250 people for under $1000.
2. Inexpensive but excellent catering. Ask friends for referrals.
3. Bought my dress off the rack.
4. Custom made veil from an Ebay store for $25
5. Family friend made the cake
6. Another friend made a video/picture slideshow.
7. Made my own invitations, programs, Save the Date cards, favors, centerpieces (Michael’s coupons!)
(Not doing floral centerpieces saved a ton)
8. We got married in late November which is the off-season so we got discounts from most vendors.
My advice is spend more on things you really care about and skimp in other areas (No one will notice a Waterford crystal cake cutter) We splurged on our honeymoon, a week in Maui, but my inlaws let us use their timeshare so we only paid for airfare and activities.
nate, i don’t mean to put you down and i have no idea who you hired, but i’ve seen the kind of photos that $600 gets you, and i know its something i would never wish upon a friend. there are TONS of cheap photographers out there, just check craigs list, but the words “talented” or “artistic” are not ones that i would use to describe them.
its your wedding day. do you really want to risk photographs that will be cherished for generations on someone you found on craigs list or who has little experience photographing weddings? maybe you do.
I myself would like to see what $600 wedding photos look like?
The photographer we used was actually a family friend who is a freelance photographer who does a lot of weddings. Some of the reasons she was inexpensive are a)it was a small town where people aren’t willing to spend thousands of dollars on pictures, b)she doesn’t have a lot of overhead to pay for (i.e. she works out of her basement, and doesn’t have any employees other than her and her husband), and c) pretty much all she does is weddings. She doesn’t do senior pictures, or portraits like a lot of other “more experienced” photography companies do. You can find good, inexpensive, wedding photographers by asking around at places that do a lot of wedding receptions, especially in small towns where everyone knows everyone. And, by the way, my pictures look great, so I’m don’t feel offended Kristin. I just found a good deal! : )
The photographer we used was actually a family friend who is a freelance photographer who does a lot of weddings. Some of the reasons she was inexpensive are a)it was a small town where people aren’t willing to spend thousands of dollars on pictures, b)she doesn’t have a lot of overhead to pay for (i.e. she works out of her basement, and doesn’t have any employees other than her and her husband), and c) pretty much all she does is weddings. She doesn’t do senior pictures, or portraits like a lot of other “more experienced” photography companies do. You can find good, inexpensive, wedding photographers by asking around at places that do a lot of wedding receptions, especially in small towns where everyone knows everyone. And, by the way, my pictures look great, so I don’t feel offended Kristin. I just found a good deal! : )
thats cool. i’d love to see them too if you’d be willing to share where they’re posted online? if not, thats ok and i could understand.
in my experience, some of the best wedding photographers are those that don’t work for companies but instead work for themselves and do photograph weddings as their primary source of income. i’ve found that also to be the case for DJ’s, videographers, etc….
We saved money several ways.
1. The reception. We ordered a wide variety of appetizers from a caterer, all food that could be eaten while standing and mingling with guests. The reception was at our house, so that was free. Instead of a DJ we put on a cable music channel in the background. It was actually nice to not have some guy yelling at us to do the chicken dance. I mean, I *like* the chicken dance. . . but I didn’t require it at my wedding.
2. No honeymoon (but we will visit the North Shore on a couple long weekends this summer, and enjoy), but every year we tend to take a week’s vacation someplace or other, so the next one will do double-duty.
3. photographer– a friend, a really excellent photographer who is not a professional (it’s not what he does for a living) but whose work we had seen and admired before we ever asked him. We had several specific shots we wanted and that was it– and for $500 we got AMAZING pictures. He put all the shots on a CD for us, so no cost for an album.
Kristen - it is very obvious that you are either a photographer who is trying to justify $2K for half a day’s work, or an assistant to a photographer that gets paid commission.
Marriage isn’t about money - and your phrase about how a bride needs to ‘justify’ the ceremony because of it being ‘inexpensive’ is embarrassing. Do you think that there is maybe a slight chance that many brides out there and as materialistic as you? Who cares if hamburger is served? Who cares if the decorations are hand-made? And who cares if the pictures don’t look like Ansel Adams took them himself? It isn’t for anybody to say except the married couple themselves..
The act of marriage, and the ceremony is simply a symbol for the rest of your life. Don’t leverage your financial future, regardless of Kristen’s comment - ‘Don’t let money be your stumbling block’ - because of one single day….
A bride and groom should be happy because they know their lives just got a lot better - not because they spent the most, and have a shoebox full of pictures that look better than the neighbors.
Kristin - I searched the internet to see if they have a website, but I couldn’t find anything. They are in Grand Rapids, the Ingelbrets. They gave us a 125 print wedding album, and took pictures before the wedding, during the wedding, and at the reception. I don’t have any of the pictures online, otherwise I wouldn’t mind showing you.
Patrick. Your post is Utopian and assumes far too much. Unfortunately most people don’t live in a world full of smiley face wall paper. Money does matter. The quality of the event does matter. For the bride and groom AND the guests. Not facing that fact is myopic and doesn’t take into the account the way people really think.
patrick, if you think that most brides aren’t materialistic, you need to wake up and smell the freshly picked flowers in the bridal bouquet. photography is merely one example. i fully realize that most brides didn’t spend anywhere near as much as i did for photography and other things, but there are always compromises. most weddings today are all about material things. MOST. not all. but they are also about love and commitment.
unfortunately you missed my point completely. weddings shouldn’t be about saving the most money. sure there are lots of GREAT ways to save money, but don’t make it the cornerstone. make your wedding what you truly want it to be, and if that is going to cost more than you would like, then do what you can to make it happen.
be a bride who has a beautiful wedding, not a beautiful expensive wedding or a beautiful cheap wedding. just a beautiful wedding.
thanks nate. i appreciate it!
We spent between $2,500 and $3,000 for a wedding with 75 guests. This figure was everything: our rings, our clothes, gifts for attendants, food, invitations, you name it. I found print-your-own invitations on clearance at Target. The box also included RSVP cards, which we actually used as our thank-you cards. So all my wedding stationary was $14.99. We got a gorgeous wool suit for my husband at Goodwill for less than $20, and he wore a suit and tie he already owned. I bought a cocktail dress at Macy’s. We kept the wedding party to 2 people: his brother and my brother, and we told them to just wear suits they already had. Since we didn’t have bridesmaids and it was February, we didn’t bother with flowers. I carried a family bible that we wrapped in satin and bows. We got married and had the reception at a very elegant restaurant in St. Paul, which charges only for the food, and does not charge any sort of rental fee. We had an evening reception, so we served hors d’ouevres, cake, punch and coffee. A cash bar was available. Our photographer was a dear friend of mine. She did a fabulous job for next-to-nothing. Our rings are high-quality silver, which is a fraction of what gold and white gold rings cost. Our groom’s dinner was in the party room of my sister’s apartment complex. We served lasagna from Simek’s and salad. Most “wedding” stuff is grossly overpriced. High buck does NOT equal high quality. Vendors will fleece you if you let them. Think outside of the traditional wedding box, and you will save big $$$.
Kristopher - ‘the way people think’ as you put it, is a complete assumption and as myopic as a phrase can be. Maybe money and quality do go together in your circle, or in many different circles - but does that make the correlation a correct one?
You use the phrase smiley-face wallpaper like it is a bad one? It is okay to be happy, and it is okay to strive for happiness. It is also okay to try and change some of the ‘traditions’ that seem to make the wedding nothing more than a full day of commercialism.
The people that lob the ‘Living in Utopia grenade’ are usually cynical, bitter and would love nothing more than to drag others around them into their own little dystopia.
Warning: $5,000 won’t go far when you consider food and beverages for 150 people…that’s $33pp if you spend the whole budget on f&b, which isn’t much in the Twin Cities (it will go farther in Northern Minnesota). You won’t have to rent a venue, but you will have to budget for tax (don’t forget TAX), servers, bartender, gratuity, a tent (it will rain if you don’t rent one), chairs, glassware, silverware, plates, and a ton of other things you won’t believe. The per person charge adds up very quickly.
I assume that you’re not planning to buy an elaborate wedding gown, but you may have to alter your dress, which can be very expensive (I’m 5′2″, and the purchase price on my lovely silk brocaded gown–purchased on sale–was lower than the alteration charge).
We got married in 1994 (gasp); our expenses totaled $12,000, which included a formal dinner reception and dance for 225pp at the Gale Mansion. The bouquets were done by Fiore, but I cut and arranged my own flowers for the church and reception. Our photographer charged less than $1,000. Gifts to attendants were modest. I refused to get sucked into all the wedding industry nonsense,and our guests had a wonderful time anyway! You should focus on making sure that your guests have wonderful food in a comfortable setting, that logistics are well planned, that you and your wedding party look marvelous, and that you have good quality pictures to remember the day (you don’t have to go hog wild with photography).
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Serving alcohol for that many people could really blow your budget. As for the food, WHAT you serve is in your control. If you are thinking lobster and caviar, $5,000 is not going to cut it.
Gosh, Aimee, this has generated a lot of heat and defensiveness from various wedding planners! I’m not sure why people feel the need to say you “can’t” do it for your budget, unless its because everyone has a different idea of what a wedding should be. I know for a fact that when I get married, I won’t be able to do it for under $5,000 because part of my costs will be flying a few relatives in from India (a cultural courtesy). That’s $5,000 alone!
Anyway, I hope you keep up with the innovative ideas and, even if not everyone wants or is able to have such an inexpensive wedding, perhaps they can get inspired.
Regarding the photog debate: Don’t forget many people have friends who COULD charge $2k for a wedding, because they have the talent and skills and ability, but don’t as a gift. I wouldn’t assume that a cheap photog is a bad one, especially considering some are photojournalists or art students or even photo teachers.
There has been much talk about the expense of photography. I did a lot of research of different options to try and save money. It seems to me if you don’t have a skilled friend or relative who will do it for free, the best option is to find a free-lancer who does digital photography. If you are the kind of couple that would just as easily look at pictures on your computer it will be cheaper not to pay for prints that you really don’t need. I found a photographer who didn’t have restrictions on the rights and gave us all the high quality image files on CDs. I can get prints made from any processing place in whatever sizes and quantity I want, anytime!
Having fewer guests and small/no wedding party really saves money. Less flowers, less time required of the photographer, no need for wedding party gifts, small venues, less food and drink overall, it all adds up. We decided a smaller guest list (60 people we actually know really well!) and no wedding party would allow us to have better quality in everything else so it was a really special night. Plus, it is much easier to plan and get stuff done if you don’t have a wedding party to deal with and wrangle.
Hey everyone! Thanks for all your comments regarding our wedding budget. Check back tomorrow and I’ll fill you in on how we plan to come in under $5,000. Many of you have some great ideas for thinking outside the “traditional” wedding box.
Justine: As a matter of fact, we ARE going camping for our honeymoon! I can’t imagine leaving Minnesota in the summer. We’ll spend a few days canoeing and camping, and a few days in a romantic cabin on a lake we’ve never been to before. We might even bring the dogs!
Patty: I spent $300 on my wedding dress and it’s more elaborate than anything I’ve ever even tried on. In my humble opinion, many of the high-end dresses look cheaper than my gown. Plus, I feel beautiful in it and that’s what’s important.
Everyone: $5,000 is a lot of money to Mr. T and I, and to many of you it sounds like. At 25 and 26, we own our house, have great jobs, close friends and family, and our health. Our lives are perfect together and we just want to celebrate that with our friends and family without getting in over our heads.
Yes, I know this blog focus is about money and a budget and all that…I know that. There are just so many other important things regarding a marriage than the wedding; in fact, I think it should be the least of your concern. Plan for love for a lifetime. That’s what is most important.
Shauna (and any others), I’d like to know where you’re having your reception. It’s good to know which places let you bring in your own caterer.
Also, does anybody know of good web sites that have customer reviews of wedding-related vendors (reception sites, caterers, photographers, musicians, etc.)?
Thanks.
150 guests. Less than 5K for us as well just a couple years back. Had our wedding in the small town where she grew up in northern MN where everything was about 30% of the cost. Photos were about 400 bucks. I can’t tell the difference between them and our friends 3000 photos.
I’ll agree this is hard to do in the city and we tried but could not find anything that wouldn’t have cost 10-15K minimum.
No regrets and greatest day of our life. We worked on keeping it cheap because we understood that for 5K or 50K it’a all about the people…the friends and family. People who sit at a wedding sniveling about how cheap it is simply don’t get it. I think the old saying is the amount spent on the wedding is inversely proportional to the length of the marriage. I’ll think about that when I go to my parents 50 wedding anniversary this weekend. I wonder if it occured to them to go in debt to have designer this and that.
and I agree that the comments on this board from Kristin about certain women who have cheaper weddings feeling they have to “justify” their wedding are ridiculous. I mean, how much more of a blinded consumer can you be? We had the money but we chose to spend it on other priorities like Paris and a home together. Women don’t think back to whether they have a designer dress 50 years from now….they think back to the people and the experience…which is completely disconnected from the cost.
Kristin sounds like a photog or wedding planner or some other person who profits from the bridal industry. A wedding should be a time for friends and family to get together, have fun, and celebrate a momentous occasion in the lives of two people they love. I know two couples who spent so much on their weddings that they couldn’t afford the bills afterward and moved back in with parents–yup, what a way to start a marriage. Let’s not forget that the number one reason that couples fight is money.
One book that I’ve read on this topic is “One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding,” by New Yorker writer Rebecca Mead. While a bit cynical, it’s also a very interesting read about the commercialization of the American wedding industry.
I highly recommend indiebride.com — it’s a breath of fresh air when the knot induces hyperventilation. However, both sites have message boards for the twin cities, so I’ve gotten some ideas for local vendors there.
I do need to chip in and say that even though a wedding is “one day,” I think it is a very special day. I absolutely remember all of the weddings I’ve been to, and whether they were happy, sad, weird, or bad. Obviously the idea of what a wedding means is very personal, and I understand the defensiveness from both sides in terms of “look how little I spent” v. “I spent $28,000.”
We saved some money by buying flowers at the farmer’s market in Minneapolis, which has a great selection. Other things that we looked at were having the reception in the reception hall at the church we were married in and serving just cake and coffee. Ultimately, a wedding comes down to preferences, but for me, the point is to get married and share it with your family and friends. This does not need to break the bank and be a source of tension for the start of your lives together. A good photographer is something I would always splurge on, but other than that, most expenses can be minimized.
Be aware that having a reception in the backyard carries the risk of being rained out. Our initial thought was that it would save money, but we wound up renting tents because of this and it wasn’t much less than a reception hall between tables, chairs, dance floor, and the tent.
i certainly didn’t mean to offend anyone. i still think most of you completely missed my point, which is unfortunate.
can you find a cheap DJ, videographer, photographer, caterer for your wedding? sure you can! but don’t pretend that it will be the same as paying a professional. many people say it was fine for them, but they have no frame of reference as to the level of service that a true wedding professional can bring. and thats fine. the saddest thing is having regrets about your wedding after the fact.
but if you’re 100% happy with your decisions, good for you! more power to you too! its not about spending money, its about knowing where your priorities are. if you want to get by on spending as little as possible on music/photos/video/etc. then chances are that those things just aren’t of great importance to you on your wedding day, and you know what, thats ok. i didn’t care about invitations or programs much at the time of my wedding so i did them on the super cheap with a laser printer. thats just me though.
just because i like to play cd’s it doesn’t exactly make me a great wedding dj. …. you get the point. but kristopher is correct, you do get what you pay for. and if you’re happy with what you paid for, then that is all that matters. 
I applaud the effort to keep your budget small. Planning my own wedding now, I understand how a budget can easily get inflated. But I will give you one piece of advice from my own experience…sometimes saving $10 or even $100 is not worth the extra effort you, your busy friends and family, or your future spouse will have to go through to compensate for the saved money.
During this busy time, just keep in mind that sometimes time IS money.
And as a former helper to a friends wedding, I would also say that saving money is not worth using and abusing friends and family.
So, in other words, I agree with those who said let your budget be a little flexible.
I did three things that helped us stick to our $4000 budget:
1) We had a morning wedding with a brunch buffett. The food was great and much, much cheaper, but it looked very expensive with smoked salmon and such. For alcohol we did mimosas and screwdrivers, and that was it. People didn’t drink that much, fortunately.
2)My family is know for their baking skills. So, we paid someone to make a very small wedding cake for pictures, then asked our family members (without pressure) to bring their favorite 12-inch cake. We had over 30 cakes for 150 people, and it was plenty! Everyone found cake they enjoyed and people liked showing off their baking skills.
3) We decorated the hall ourselves with clearance votives and wreaths decorated with flowers. This was very time consuming, though, and stressed out my mom a lot.
By having the wedding and reception in my (tiny) outstate hometown, we saved THOUSANDS from the get-go. (Wedding planning is so low-pressure up there that when I called a year ahead to reserve the church, they were stunned. Probably still talking about it.)
I decided the only things I was going to spend money on were a good photographer — since that was the only purchased item/service that was actually going to last past “THE DAY” — and a good meal for the guests.
We had a morning wedding (lunch on a Saturday was less expensive than supper)
I did my own flowers and decorations
I had my dress made by a woman who “builds” dresses for the Renaissance Festival — perfect fit for $400 and no bridal-gown ordering dramas!!!
I made my own veil — after all, it is just a veil attached to a headpiece. Fabric shops offer classes if you want to do this.
We had just a maid of honor and best man, avoiding further costs for family and friends. I just figured traveling and being there was enough without the dress, the shoes, the this, the that. . . and I like to think the ceremony was refreshingly intimate without the “matched armies” of bridesmaids and groomsmen arrayed out on either side
For many weeks before the wedding I could be found putting together preserved-leaf arrangements (it was a fall wedding) or sewing, but it was so worth it. I worked with a woman who was still paying off her wedding more than a year after she was married. My husband and I agreed there would be NO bills outstanding for the wedding once we walked down the aisle, and there weren’t.
JJ,
Our wedding and reception will be at Woodbury Central Park in Woodbury. They let you bring in your own caterer.
They’re a bit spendy ($1300), but since it’s an indoor park with plants, trees, flowers and a waterfall, I don’t have to worry about having bad weather on my Oct. wedding day. Plus, I won’t need to jazz the place up with flowers.
ALso, if anyone’s interested in a reasonable caterer, I’m using RiverTown Cafe out of Wabasha. They travel to the Cities for free and for $6.50 a person, we’re getting our choice of two meats, potato, veggie, and bread served buffet-style.
We got married over seven years ago, just when the cost of weddings was really taking off. We lived on the East Coast with most of my husband’s friends (start-up company), but decided to get married near our families here in Minnesota. We had a small guest list - limiting the number of guests we allowed our parents and ourselves. That allowed us to rent the Como Conservatory for about $500 on a Friday night (now $850). No flowers needed for ceremony except my bouquet. No wedding party. I have four sisters. We asked everyone to do something for the wedding and got each one and their date a corsage for thanks. Late reception with light buffet. I don’t eat cake, so we ordered multiple desserts from Cafe Latte, including my favorite - cheesecake! Overall cost of the wedding
Nate, Patty and Lou
I’m sort of stunned by the “you get what you pay for, don’t skimp on this important day” crowd, and have to say that I agree with the Kate who said “it’s just one day.” I’ve been married once, 15 years ago. Can’t remember the budget, but it was not an extravagant wedding. I don’t regret it, though I’m sure Kristin would say I’m just trying to make myself feel better.
I’ve also been to a lot of “cheap” weddings and a few extravagant ones, and I enjoyed the cheap ones even more than the pricey ones — they showed more of the couple’s personality since they were more “do it yourself.”
How we saved at my wedding (w/ about 200 guests): had an early afternoon wedding with an afternoon reception: crackers and cheese, veggies and dip, punch (no alcohol), cake. An aunt of my husbands did our flowers for the cost of the flowers. Must admit — that was a risk, as I hadn’t seen her work and just took the offer based on the fact that she had done flowers for the Wisconsin governor’s mansion. She did a beautiful job. Reception was in a church hall and music was provided by a guitarist. We had a small wedding party (one maid of honor, one best man, two ushers). We spent the most on photography and the honeymoon.
Ideas from friends weddings: One crafty friend made paper decorations — hard to describe, but beautiful — for her reception (also in a church hall… a really inexpensive way to go). She wanted DQ ice cream cake, and so that was what they had. I was proud of her for being so willing to be herself. Another couple brought in food from a variety of international restraunts in their area (ever notice how international food is often much cheaper than “American” food?). Yet another couple made their own mead and crepes (which they successfully froze for reheating on the day of the wedding) for the reception feast; a sister made the cake, and the wedding party took care of the flowers and decorating the reception hall.
The way I figure it is this: You can enter marriage with a materialistic attitude, thinking that the wedding should be a big fantasy party, because that is what you think is important, or because you want to show off to your friends, or because that is what you think people expect (they may not, and if they do, I suggest getting out and making more friends). You may enter your marriage with a lot of debt, which is sort of stupid. At best, you enter your marriage with values that may cause problems later on: if money is your god, where will you be if your god betrays you. Or, you can take a long range view, and invest less in a big to-do and more in your marriage. Me, I’m glad to be part of a crowd that knows how to celebrate well on the cheap.
another kate, just wow… just because the average spent on a wedding is $28,000, there’s no need to justify spending less by calling all of those “average” brides and grooms materialistic and shallow because they can and want to spend that much on their wedding. there’s nothing wrong with spending as little as possible on your wedding, but ignoring that there are tradeoffs is ignoring reality. the key is being ok and accepting the tradeoffs. the ones who spent an “average” amount will tell you how they’re glad they spent what they did and yet those who spent very little will often say the same as well. weddings are always about personal choices. always do what you want most and not what others tell you to do.
all of that above is of little help to the whole point of this topic i realize… i apologize. going out of a bigger market will certainly bring your costs down somewhat, simply because the cost of living in an area goes down, typically the cost of everything else will often fall as well. the tradeoff is that you will also have fewer options, but your costs should be less too.
having the wedding and reception at someone’s home is a great way to cutout rental costs. that should allow you to pick your own caterer. i had a friend who had a real country-themed wedding have famous dave’s cater the reception and it was pretty neat. maybe you could simply have an an appetizer-only dinner and since the location is someone’s home, you should also be able to control the drinks and alcohol. you could certainly make it a dry wedding an not serve alchohol and that would cut out a chunk and only have cans of pop and water and juice. kind of like a picnic i suppose. which brings up the topic of a theme. themed weddings/receptions can often be a ton of fun too and if you emphasized a picnic type of theme (or anything like that), it can really make things more entertaining and fit very well with a lower cost budget.
i’ve seen a bunch of friends lately do their own DJ with iTunes hooked up to some speakers. they make their own personal wedding mix ahead of time and its already in order. you can go on the internet and on iTunes and find good wedding dance mixes just for this type of thing.
i’ve also seen a few friends get designer knock-off dresses made in hong kong for a couple hundred dollars. the quality was quite good considering. tuxes are very overrated, just have all the guys wear simple suits, whatever suits they already have and maybe coordinate a tie for each of them. same thing for the girls, just a simple black dress (every gal should have one of those anyway)
then of course most little things can be done yourself in multitudes of inexpensive ways: invites, favors, programs, flowers, etc… you’ll have to alot for many hours of work for each of them most likely, but that is always the tradeoff by assuming that your extra time is not costing you anything.
We had a very inexpensive wedding for 250 people. The ceremony was in the Great Hall at Metro State that overlooks St. Paul. We rented chairs and set them up ourselves. The room was free because I worked there, but we had to pay for a janitor. Both of us come from baseball loving families. Our reception was at a St. Paul Saints game with food from Gabes. We had camped out months earlier to get group tickets and the large picnic area. I designed the invitations and arranged for the printing myself. My SIL made the cake and that was her and my brother’s gift to us. Everyone had a blast and still remember the experience nearly ten years later. Oh yeah - instead of candy in silly netting or a matchbook with our names, guests got a Saint’s pennant and a baseball card with our picture on it. We skipped having a photographer but got dressed up the day before and had our photo taken at Proex.
One of the most memorable and beautiful weddings we were honored to attend was held in Northern MN, outside, on a cloudy, cool day in October. We sat on blanket or sleeping bag covered hay bales. The bride and groom stood under a canopy of an open parachute hanging between trees. The bride wore a modest but beautiful wedding gown. The groomsmen wore nice suits. The bridesmaids wore vintage dresses, all very beautiful, and each one different than the other. Just as the bride and groom said their “I dos” and had their first kiss, the sun shone through the parachute. We were all awestruck. The reception was held outdoors, in a rented tent. Most of the food was made by relatives and friends, and was delicious. We will never forget the beauty or the memories of this unique wedding. It seems to me that one doesn’t have to mortgage their lives on a wedding. Just having friends and family there to witness what is going to be the most wonderful day of your lives seems to be enough. Wedding on a budget? I vote YES! It can be done. With a little help from your friends and family. What more could you ask for?
A nice wedding can be done for less money. It’s a failure of creativity to feel like one has to spend too much.
We had a low cost but nice wedding under 2,000. Which I am very glad that we did it that way. What we did instead once we had a little money saved was go on a three month long honey moon thru Central America and Mexico for under 6,000.
Is there something wrong with wanting to have a kick ass party? I don’t want to have my reception in a church basement, I want liquor at my reception, and providing that atmosphere for 150 people in Minneapolis is going to cost us. Does that make me materialistic?
No, Jess. That’s what I wanted, too. Everyone’s vision is so different. We had an open bar, awesome food, great DJ and everyone had a blast. We arranged for transportation to get people home safely. We did end up getting the liquor, wine and beer wholesale through my mom who is a barowner, and we couldn’t have afforded to pay full price for that. It was a great party. Check out Cedars Hall in Minneapolis (inside St Maron’s Church). You don’t have to be a member at the church, its a beautiful hall, and you bring in your own caterer and alcohol.
I’m happy for you that you’ve got a clear vision of what you want. Camping for your honeymoon is original and if it’s what you truly want, go for it. Thinking about my own wedding budget- the ceremony cost almost as much as the reception and if you added both of them together you’ve got the honeymoon cost. This is about choices. The wedding is more for the guests and the honeymoon is the gift you give yourselves for surviving the weddiing. My reasoning was that as a bride or groom you’ll remember very little about the day. It’s just too busy and stressful, but I sure wanted to remember the honeymoon. Plus it was my husbands second marriage- and he hated his first wedding which was low budget and not done well. We did low budget but done selectively- my dress was a sample sale, evening wedding and cocktail/dessert reception. Favor was a CD we burned with our favorite Jazz songs, and the CD jacket doubled as our program. Three years later we are still constantly asked for more of the Cd. The honeymoon was 14 days in Tahiti- but still only cost us $8k because we made smart choices that worked for us.
My husband and I spent about $2000 for our wedding with about 60 guests. This includes everything except the honeymoon. Our wedding was actually all paid for already by the time the ceremony rolled around. Here
Patrick, I agree with you on pretty much everything but this bit about photographers “trying to justify $2K for half a day
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