Guest Post COW: Jon likes himself a little puck
Posted on January 26th, 2007 – 10:10 AMBy Michael Rand
It’s that time again — honestly, one of our favorite times of the week. We get to shut our yap and let you have the stage for a little while. Jon, RandBall’s sixth Commenter Of the Week, is a bona fide blogger in his own right. He has spent the past three years penning “The National Anthem Before A Cubs Game,” which probably gets a lot of indirect traffic from a different audience because the first three letters of its web address are “tna.” But seriously, it’s a Minnesota-themed sports blog, and he does a splendid job with it. He checks in in just one second — right after we remind all the former COWs that you now get to vote for the COW every week. So please do vote. Don’t go to some other site and just throw your vote away. Here are Jon’s words:
Raise your hands if you know the final score of Wednesday’s NHL All-Star Game. Not a lot of hands up, are there? Nobody — okay, a minuscule number of somebodies — watched the All-Star Game. Despite the fact that it was televised in HD. Despite the fact that all the offensive talent in the world was on display. Despite the fact that Vs. pulled out every stop they could think of, in an attempt to draw in new fans. And those new jerseys? They’re ugly. They look like baseball batting practice jerseys. And here’s the worst part: the die-hard fans liked the old ones.
Here’s an idea, NHL: instead of always trying to draw new fans, how about you focus on not alienating the ones you already have? You might remember us, NHL. We’re the ones who still call the NFC North the “Norris Division.” We’re the ones who grow a beard while our team is in the playoffs. We’re the ones who make jokes about “calling Toronto” when we can’t make a decision. We’re the ones that stuck with you through the lockout and through the boredom of the clutch-and-grab neutral zone trap. How about catering to us for once, NHL? We’d rather have hockey in Winnipeg than in Las Vegas. We’d rather you not make the uniforms that we defiantly wear on Casual Friday into something that looks ridiculous. We’d rather not go three years in between visits from Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin, just because you can’t get it together and agree on something better. And we want the Norris Division back. That’s non-negotiable.
Focus on those of us who love hockey. We’re the best salespeople you have, and if you make us happy, it will pay off in the long run.
27 Responses to "Guest Post COW: Jon likes himself a little puck"
Though the “Natl’ Anthem before a Cubs Game” was mindlessly funny (the best kind of humor ) once more from it I wasn’t able to glean this clear and present truth.
That is, of course, (I paraphrase some of this from others) that in (nearly) all popular sports there is some effort to keep players from the full use of the one appendage that is best for grabbing onto balls, pucks etc. Yet, the Truth about soccer still remains misunderstood in the years around the turn of the century when rugby (a far more enjoyable game to watch, being not a look-ma-no-hands game) mutated into soccer.
Or as in baseball, where the leather encased hands of the fielders makes them all goalies in effect or in hockey (though players can’t grab the puck they can redirect it) where wicked sticks held by those verboten hands of soccer make up both the offense and defense or in basketball which sees no effort at all to outlaw any appendage or even, dear reader, try to imagine the poor swimmer who cannot finish his/her race by simply touching the wall (with outlawed hands) instead kicking into exhaustion. No, though Hyperbole is the Queen of sports, only soccer handcuffs (literally) a player this way. Nonetheless, once more it’s clear that someone can insult another’s politics, country or even their mama, but if they question or even slight someone’s sports, we’re talking pretty serious business here.
Interesting post, Jon. One question, though: What is this “NHL” of which you speak?
Sass: I think it’s some sort of furniture polish.
Jon: great stuff. I’m not a hockey guy by any means, but I’m friends with plenty of diehards. Be they from the Range or the ‘burbs, they say the exact same things you do. (The Range guys still have their mullets, though.)
You’d think it would be bloody obvious to focus on your core constituency and build out from there, but “think” and the NHL parted ways the minute they left ESPN. If I recall correctly, the Worldwide Leader was lowballing them, but the NHL should have taken the financial hit just to remind everyone they exist. Sharing a network with The Ted Nugent Wrestles A Deer To The Ground and Kills It With His Bare Hands Variety Hour doesn’t seem to be helping.
Jon: Great points, but maybe you shouldn’t be calling out the NHL, but the owners fo the teams who don’t get it. Granted, if Bettman had a spine, he’d get it done, but let’s take it one step at a time …
I would have watched Rory.
Since he didn’t play I went to look for that stupid medalion over in Shelbyville.
The NHL is to rejecting its base of fans what Paul Paluos is to making posts on RandBall that are 78% unintelligible
You know ratios. I’m impressed Rocketman, yet to say that 78% (an improbably precise figure we labeled in grad school research papers as p.o.a. (pull it out of you …)) of my treatises (by the way, how do you know the mighty fine work above is mine not just that of a wise and kindred spirit)..but to label anything as “unintelligible” is always a dance between reader and writer, so I’m sorry you don’t know the steps to that dance or the intricate reasoning behind “Succer’s” words.
By the way, Paulos is spelled Paulos (duh) not Pauluos (a name only seen dozens of times in these pages), yet I am to understand it is I not you of little spelling skill who is labeled with a broad brush as unintelligible. I suggest next time you pick on someone with your SAT scores (if they be owned or acknowledged). It would be a more even match.
The NHL is to rejecting its base of fans what Paul Paulos is to making posts on RandBall that are now 79.2% unintelligible.
Can we vote for Rocket now?
“Unintelligible is in the lack of mind of the beholder” ….an Einstein quote (he actually said “don’t sweat the no minds”)
Did anyone notice that Paul Paulos spelled Rocket’s misspelling of Paulos (Paluos) wrong (Pauluos)?
Just an observation.
Good eyes, but that’s like saying that an exact quote of a misquote is necessary. Besides Rocket and his henchmen (and I assume you fit that description and gender..perhaps a big assumption) enter posts which offer little more than repeats of the positions of the other. That’s common with “fans”, a large subset of mankind nor well known for intelligence or creativity, just for the slavish following of this team or that. Other than that, Telli-man, thanks for the Eagle Eye. I be more focused reading the Rocket in the future……………not
“The Ted Nugent Wrestles A Deer To The Ground and Kills It With His Bare Hands Variety Hour.”
Ted Nugent jokes are never NOT funny, but this one was particularly hilarious. Well done, Stu.
It’s hard to believe an archer, someone from the Grand Line of Robin Hood, could be such a Republican pig, but Nugent and Cheney would make great buds.
jonny1
royal carribean
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