Monday (heating up) edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on December 3rd, 2007 – 8:25 AMBy Michael Rand
Who is that grizzled, handsome man? Have you already forgotten? Why, it’s Don Imus! The king of nappy headed [redacted] returned to the radio this morning. He was apparently contrite and has added two new members to his cast, a black man and a black woman, with whom he will engage in “an ongoing discussion about race relations in this country.” We’re not quite sure how this will work for the shock jock, but we are certain it’s a little more forward thinking than billboards that say, “Our Lawyer Is Always Busy.”
What else? In a related story, the No. 6-ranked Rutgers women’s basketball team plays No. 3 Maryland tonight. … As we’ll attempt to explain in the Monday Meltdown a little later, that injury to Adrian Peterson might have been the best thing that’s ever happened to the Vikings. … The Yankees are reportedly issuing the Twins a take-it-or-leave-it deadline on an offer for Johan Santana. No word on whether Hank Steinbrenner, which sounds like a Ron Mexico name generator creation, reserved the right to change his mind 6 times in the next several months. … Ohio State vs. LSU. Will the No. 2 team lose again? We could have a two-loss champion. Yuck. … Gophers wrestling loses to Iowa State in 1-2 battle Sunday. The Minnesota lineup, at least for now, looks quite a bit different in duals without Cole Konrad anchoring heavyweight.
Fasola-link! Hornussen. We want to play this really badly, even if it is with canoe paddles and tennis balls, as Fasolamatt indicated he once tried.
47 Responses to "Monday (heating up) edition: Wha’ Happened?"
I don’t know, I laughed loudly the first time I saw the “Our Lawyers are Always Busy” sign.
Yes, the Morning Show went overboard with its uninformed comments and yes, they deserved the bad publicity and the forced apologies, and all that…
But come on. What’s done is done. I thought the billboard was clever and funny.
Yeah, Hank, sure. Just like you said you won’t re-sign A-rod if he opts out of his contract.
As soon as he hears that the Red Sox are close to a deal, he’ll come running back.
God, I haven’t listened to KQ in a dog’s age. Can’t say I miss it much. If I want to hear an angry white guy and “Smoke on the Water” for the thousandth time, I’ll just hang out at the Hector American Legion.
If I’m reading the Yankees offer correctly, they can pull it today for all I care.
BCS, SchmeeCS. I’m more interested in the year’s most comically-named bowl. In my mind, it’s a dead heat between the Brut Sun Bowl and the Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl, with the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl in the mix.
Before offering up another of my fine posts (below) I’d like to say I sent a soewhat shorter post to another site where some crazed Vike fan, a fan I’ve seen alot around here too, (but aren’t all Vike fans who never actually played the game crazed from living so vicariously through this historically lousy team ?). Anyway, this guy took exception to my calling Peterson “an animal” somehow seeing that as racist forgetting for a moment in his traditionally weak argument that we are ALL animals (ask your biology teacher) and, in particular, football players, since ALL of them are the quintessential animals being, in essence, nothing more or less than well trained and skilled human projectiles, trained to hit, not to think… animals, so to speak, that we worship every Sunday.
But enough on that, but here’s the humorous part (if the above wasn’t humorous enough), this is the same witless wonder like many others on this site that refer to me as “Paula” without realizing that that gender bending switch is, in essence, a putdown not of me at all but of women by implying women have nowhere near the knowledge of the male “experts” on these pages, a putdown of women by simply implying and accepting that “Paula” could ever BE a putdown (figure that out, purplish people). In any event, is that concealed sexism any different than the overt racism charge thrown my way above ? I rest my case on that, but am sure it will not dent the consciousness of the Arby’s boys who fill these pages.
Anyway, I wrote, in a much abbreviated way, that I just don’t know why dbacks try to take on this Peterson animal so high, since the man is as crazy as he is talented. Harris of the heroic Green and Gold showed one and all dbacks everywhere how to quickly humble and level this newest Viking Superfreak, and sooner or later (hopefully sooner)after this game tackles will now be coming in low and rolling faster, and (I changed this ending since I like ½ day but hate his team and ½ day must go for his team to go with him) if teams learn from Harris, this huffin’ and puffin’ unstoppable newest beast on the plastic grass will be down once again. Thus is the sad and hard life for those who play this children’s game for such huge amounts of money. For myself, I’ll save my pity for those who do more important things.
Arby’s boys?
This football season has officially made me turn to what can the Twins do this off-season mode. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Rex Grossman? He is the King of taking 20 yard sacks.
Well enough about the Bears how bout those TWolves!
Ah, dual collegiate wrestling meets. Is there any other sport out there where the entire regular season doesn’t matter a hill of beans because it’s a completely different format than the championships?
Stu, if the shoe fits…..
Mmmm…Chicken Bacon Swiss Sandwich…
I hate to just back up Rockets book, but I can just feel myself getting sucked in by the play the last 2 weeks by the Vikings. I am just waiting for the big letdown…will it be San Francisco?
Imus???? I thought we all agreed that he would get to play Frankensteins father in a Broadway production and then die gracefully.
Jon, if you don’t know the answer to that, I’m reasonably certain no one else does, either.
Paul, I don’t even know what “Arby’s boys” means, hence my question. Does it mean I’m an entry-level fast food worker? That I enjoy delicious roast beef smothered with Arby’s Sauce? It’s like if I said, “Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir! Grab your egg-and-fours and let’s get the bacon delivered!” Sure, Jon and I know what that means, but I can’t expect you to follow it.
I’m not sure what egg-and-fours are, but sign me up for that bacon delivery. Hot, crispy bacon delivered to my door/cubicle? Yes please!!
I smell a business opportunity. Ill sign up too for that matter…mmmmmmmmm, crispy bacon..argrrrrghhhh!!!!!
I think Paul meant that we won’t be able to pay attention to his comment because we’re all too busy thinking of all of the 5 for $5 combinations that we could make.
Hmmm…
I could get 3 JaMocha shakes and two orders of curly fries
OR
I could get 2 Arby’s Melts, a Medium Coke, some popcorn chicken, and some cherry pie popover thingys
OR….
I’m just going by the lack of cogency in your writing Stu not your choice of teams, and yes, you do seem to write as Arby’s workers appear to talk. Sorry if you are their manager.
Stu, if you are the manager at Arby’s, I would like a word with you about this Paulos character you have working the register…
It is sort of illustrative that none of you cretins (look it up. It doesn’t always mean you went to Cretin..Duh)….that none of the finest Viking minds commented on the meat of my blog, just the meat you eat while at work.
How like y’all to avoid what I said and focus instead on what you wanted to hear. Do you do that with your hair netted teeny basher dates from work?..that is, focus on hearing what you want from them instead of the truth…in the trade, that DSM1V diagnosis is called E.D. (hint. Mike Ditka has it) Hardehar
Funny, Paul, in your “heroic green and gold” talk you mentioned nothing of how everyone’s favorite QB to verbally fellate actually had to *gasp* leave a game with an injury. Man, I hope someone got paid their bounty for taking him out. In fact, I hope every one comes in and hits him late with a helmet to his injured arm. And then they can tuck and roll on Aaron Rodgers, too. Who’s GB’s third string QB, maybe we’ll find out next week.
How does that sound? Do I actually mean it? Of course not. But you’re returning to your “let’s injure the guy” mindset again. How about teams try to actually make a tackle rather than having to try and take someone out. These are professional football players, I would hope that they’ve learned the fundamentals somewhere along the way. Apparently, Detroit’s defenders need a refresher course on how to tackle another professional athlete.
The only thing that would have made the play where AP froze Kenoy Kennedy funnier is if someone had pantsed him afterward, in order to make the figurative literal.
Yep, we must all be morons. Couldn’t be that we stopped paying attention to what you have to say regarding the Vikings weeks ago, when you started asking for someone to hurt our star player, just so you could feel better about yourself.
As for the Paul v. Paula debate, I think you’re right–I think Paula’s around the world would be offended that someone could compare you to them.
Paul, are you really sure you want to accuse someone else of a lack of cogency?
Oh, yeah, by the way, Peterson hurdling several defenders earlier in the year may have something to do with why some guys prefer to try to take him on around the waist (where you’re supposed to), as opposed to on the ground (the way Al Harris did.
Speaking of your boy Al, how’d he do the other night? I remember an interception that TO handed him when he was in the wrong place at the right time, and other than that, I seem to remember him getting toasted like the bread on my Arby’s Classic Italian Toasted Sub…
Dave, both the G.Bay hit on A.D. and the hit on favre were accidents…and legal. But, paraphrasing myself (something I love to do) …I said that I hoped other dbs would stop tackling this animal high but learn from Harris to quickly humble and level this newest Viking Superfreak (legally) so that.. yes… they could knock Peterson out of the game, which unless you live in seriously lost lala land, teams have ALWAYS tried to do when rbs run wild on them..Peterson himself said the same thing, that the Lions were going for his legs. What a surprise ! It’s like some baseball player on a hot hitting streak getting brush back pitches…and the fans whining about it like you losers are. Ds always try to take out hot players. Do you live in a Dome or something ?
And like I said that’s just the sad and hard life for those who play this children’s game for such huge amounts of money. For myself, I’ll save my pity for those who do more important things.
Toonces, whatever that means ..sounds like a skin disease
just for your info, since you obviously never played dback or even football, playing Toonces only, there is NO right place to tackle anyone. The only good tackle is one that ends up with the ball carrier on the ground, and since 1/2 day is such a runaway train, the best way to approach him would be to put the fear of God in him whenever it’s possible to go for his knees or ankles. That’s legal but not always effective since if he sees it coming, he can easily jump over it. Point is, near the line where there less room for him to maneuver, that’s where this tactic does work best. For myself, I’ve seen more than one rb stop in his track seeing pads hurtling towards his knees.
I believe as this sham “Wild Card” race heats up, safeties in particular should blast those knees and ankles maybe taking him down, maybe not, but surely freaking him out, and that’s the idea….to slow him up so that others can gang tackle. But saying there is one right place to tackle ? Toonces, where you a ping pong player or someething or maybe the flute ?
Paul, I understand the idea that fans think that players want to take each other out (legally), but sometimes I wonder if the players actually want that to happen. I don’t know that there is an intent to injure. I think that players want to make their presence felt, intimidate, and make an opponent think twice, but I don’t know that they really want to seriously injure each other. Probably because they know that all of their careers and livelihoods are one misstep, incorrectly delivered hit, or low/high blow away from being taken away from them.
I wouldn’t call it “pity”, because I don’t pity people who make millions playing a game. I would just say that, I don’t think that these players really want to injure each other. A pitcher might throw a brush-back pitch, but he’d feel pretty awful if he actually hit the batter in the face or the head. I’m pretty sure that Dennis Martinez felt terrible about hitting Kirby in the face (in what proved to be his last at bat).
They want to intimidate each other, not actually end careers. Or at least that’s what I’d like to believe.
Playing a child’s game >>> trolling on a message board for a blog post about said child’s game.
Hey Paul, in “the trade”, what’s the DSM1V diagnosis for one exhibiting erratic behavior manifested in ranting, illogical diatribes for an audience one expresses great disdain for?
Physician, heal thyself.
No right place to tackle someone? Not what my football coaches always taught. Sure, it’s not like you can always form tackle someone–but why dive for the knees or grab for the shoulders when you can put a shoulder in their stomach? A lot less likely to break a tackle that way.
But maybe an All-Pro DB like yourself knows better. I only played two games at DB, and that was in 7th grade, and not becuase they wanted me there–they just ran out of room on the DL on our iron man team.
Maybe later on our DBs got some special training in diving for knees. Personally, the only time I ever intentially dove for a knee or an ankle, I took a shot to the head, and spent the rest of the game looking at my jersey after every play to figure out which huddle I was supposed to go to.
As for the skin disease, I’ll just assume you must know what you’re talking about there too. I can’t believe they would name a disease after an SNL skit, but what do I know? I just work at Arby’s.
AZGopher: +1
Tooncy, if a guy is getting past you, and you have only the chance to grab his wrist and sling his face into the ground, do you do that or try to speed up and run in front of him (with your speed) and get into position for the RIGHT tackle ? Jeez where do the guys on this site come from ? Did you watch that Eden Prairie game ? They ate up Cretin defensively since they hit them hard from every conceivable direction. But the RIGHT direction ? Sounds a little obsessive compulsive to me. Are you Republican or something ?
Peter Paul & Mary - Did you actually read my post? Obviously, as I stated, you can’t form tackle a guy every time. But if my choices are going for the knees or ankles, as you suggest, or going for the waist, as my coaches did, the waist makes more sense.
As Roughkat, RandBall, and several others can attest, with my blazing speed, if someone has somehow managed to get by me, I’m pretty much done for that play–I might as well rest up for the next one.
AZgirl, that kind of diagnosis would be exemplified (I’ll go slowly) by a political speech as in a Presidential Inaugural Speech (listed under manic:Bush:mindless) where the stated intent of the speech was reunification of the country but the body of the speech was spent in attacking the opposing party.
Can you then AZ girl see why with that as such a much larger perspective, I feel something so insignificant as one ridiculously rich runner’s knees seem to be of no importance to me. Put it this way. Do you feel what you do is important, and if so, why do you get so many orders of magnitude (look it up) less than the God Peterson’s salary. If this upsets you, and it should, I think you are due for a ranting diatribe. Yet, being of the long suffering Purple Tribe, you, I’m sure, consider football an important cultural element. Probably supported the war too.
Toonces, I admire your honesty. I myself am blazing fast …only if I can find my mom’s tapes to watch
Paul, for something you deem so unimportant, you sure do seem to go on and on and on…
I LOVE the war! (Hope you can sense my sarcasm but please don’t, in your professional opinion, tell me it’s a defense mechanism used by the insecure and the conservative.)
What I do is only important to me and to those who pay me to do it. What Purple Jesus and his counterparts do is allow me to forget what it is that I do, if only for 3 hours. I think that’s worth something.
Imp. to you = cool but I’m just wondering if you….ever wonder why our focused interest in their play makes them millions a year ? I guess I wonder if you feel that this discrepancy in income (yours and theirs) is justified and DON’T (hope you sense the sarcasm) say it’s a natural function of capitalism i.e. demand (ours) drives up the price (their salary) …For me, I think nobody deserves their pay…even the Pope in pads (hope you sense my sarcasm)..though an all cheerleader game I’d enjoy once and awhile (that’s not sexist, since I just would 
I get paid more than I deserve and I try to appreciate it because it could all be gone tomorrow. I’m like Dave (call us Pauly-annas if you want) and prefer to think that the majority of players feel that same way. I do think they make more money than is necessary, but they do risk physical injury with lifelong consequences. The fame and money itself brings added risk (you think Sean Taylor would be alive today if he weren’t a millionaire)?
I’m not offended by your cheerleader comment. I was one and wish I had played football so I’d learned the mechanics and could chime in on your fascinating tackling debate.
AZ, you want a good stat I picked up on one of my zillion sport sites ? It supports what you said about risking injury. Turns out the risk is simply in the playing regardless of the severity or frequency (if any) of injuries. Meaning (since I can’t type anything without an intro) that the average age of death of an NFL player is in the 60s! Can you believe that. It seems it’s the pounding and stress of a career that shortens the life. Look at Peterson. Takes alot to bring him down, but when he goes down, he takes a beating.
But, no (but I’m the Pauly-anna ! not you according to dave) I think there will never be any “equality” in wages as long as teachers get 40 thou a year and these guys get millons. Though it’s not that funny, it brings up the joke (supposedly true) when Babe Ruth met the President, and the President (can you tell I forgot his name) asks the Babe how he, himself, can make 100,000 and the Babe made far more. I guess then the Babe told the Pres “Because I had a better year”
So, I guess it’s how you define “better” work…whether it be someone who works with messed up drugged out kids or someone who can run like Peterson. For myself, I think all these games should be played by amateurs. You know most players would still play either for the love of the game or because they really have nothing else to do…
What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
@Toonces:
+2, though A simple “wrong” would have sufficed…
Tooncie, was it the 1st (clear)paragraph on the shortened life expectancy of pro fooball players you didn’t understand (you’re not sniffing again are you?) ….or was it the second (clear) paragraph about the disparity of income between those who work for the common good and those who entertain hero worshippers like you….or was it the third (clear) paragraph about how these “heros” should play as amateurs only for the adulation of fools like you (and they surely would since most of them majored in P.E. and only Arby jobs like yours are then open)…or is it the invisible paragraph I wrote that now burrows deeply in your quite dense mind rendering you unable to understand a word you read…
Truth is, of all the slings and arrows sent my way by your Merry Purple Gang, yours, truly now, have lacked the most merit. Sometimes treatment just doesn’t work…sorry
toon, toon, toocie just wondering if you played ball and what position or just the skin flute. You never know. It seems when one of your buddies says something, you repeat it not wanting to leave your buddies behind 
Peter Paul & Mary - Was referring moreso to the entire body of work.
Not sure what the hell you mean about repeating the stuff of ‘my buddies,’ but yeah, I played ball. O-Line. Every spot, at one time or another. Just high school–didn’t see the benefit of bulking up even more and banging heads at D3 level–so I just went to college and bulked up.
As for the skin flute, not familiar with it. You seem to know more about it than me.
so no speed, ay ?
I inherited my speed from my father. He always said they timed his 40 with a calendar, back in the day.
Funny ! My dad played AAA for the White Sox but was always slow. His coach told him he wasn’t slow or fast but sorta half fast !!
Thanks for sharing
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
