Thursday (tasteful smattering) edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on December 20th, 2007 – 8:42 AMBy Michael Rand
Because Curt Schilling can’t 1) Think something without saying it, 2) Come across a controversial topic without offering an opinion or 3) properly use an apostrophe, the Red Sox hurler has decided to weigh in on the Roger Clemens drug question with some wisdom under the headline, “One players (sic) take on the Mitchell Report, Canseco, Clemens, looking back or going forward …” which is not so much a summary but a sentence that would be longer than 1 of every 10 RandBall posts. In any event, Curt has an awful lot to say, and after about 2,000 words he says this about Clemens: So as a fan my thought is that Roger will find a way in short order to organize a legal team to guarantee a retraction of the allegations made, a public apology is made, and his name is completely cleared. If he doesn’t do that then there aren’t many options as a fan for me other than to believe his career 192 wins and 3 Cy Youngs he won prior to 1997 were the end. From that point on the numbers were attained through using PED’s. Just like I stated about Jose, if that is the case with Roger, the 4 Cy Youngs should go to the rightful winners and the numbers should go away if he cannot refute the accusations. If you don’t hear this repeated a minimum of 15 times in the next 24 hours, then talk radio and the TV shouting heads just aren’t doing their jobs. (That image above, by the way, is the exclusive “other sock” from 2004).
*A fun new addition on the Wizard of Odds begins today tracks how far college football teams travel. If you like college football, you might find facts like this to be rather interesting: Georgia has traveled a total of 358 miles for nonconference road games since 1998. By comparison, Hawaii has traveled 72,918 miles. It’s now your job to determine which of those numbers is closest to the number of excruciating losses suffered by the Gophers during that time.
*We received our Hottie Holiday Card from the Ladies … and for those who complain we never direct you to the humorous man-candy, complain no more because it is also available in blog form.
*McLovins: Keeping the cold side cold and the hot side also cold. If you’re too young to remember McDlt’s, that makes no sense. Here, let George Costanza explain it. Ha! The Celtics also lost. They now have the same number of losses as the McLovins have victories.
Let’s not even talk about Parcells today.
Fasola-link! She must be thinking of something other than her own person when making such declarations.
39 Responses to "Thursday (tasteful smattering) edition: Wha’ Happened?"
RE: the Waitresses.
The Fasola-link gains a nice touch of morbidity when you realize that the lead singer died of lung cancer.
I Clemens took steroids, he should only lose half his records since 50% of the hitters were probably juiced up and the other 50% couldnt get connected.
Propreitor
I am just going to assume that the pictue is of a sock you use to store under your bed during your high school days until otherwise noted.
Call in the hazmat team to dispose of that thing.
As a firm believer that content takes precedence over punctuation i.e. how often have you read something perfectly well written that says perfectly nothing (the routine State of the Union address, perhaps), I must add that I do like one of Schilling’s opening lines for obvious reasons ..”If you plan on writing some idiotic off the cuff rant slanted one way or another feel free to close the page now, it will be deleted”…
p.s. jpf’s post just above left off the f in “if” and the apostrophe in couldn’t. Is this important ? To some maybe, not to me, since the greatest of us think with our minds not our fingers.
Exactly PPP, after posting it, I wondered if that was a Freudian slip of some kind, but then realized that I was just hurried and lazy.
Ok with me !!!
Looking like Schilling bores people or everyone just took off for the holiday weekend early.
Schilling is like the Rush Limbaugh of the MLB. He says krazy [redacted] just to get people talking. Only he’s not addicted to pain meds that I know of.
FYI - You can’t say vico - din.
As far as the McLovins go: I really want to see them rewarded for their hard work a little more often…. just not often enough that they dont get the first pick in the draft. I’m thinking Kevin Love would go with the new nickname for the team.
Kat..fyi, Vico-din can B mity nice (but it affects my spelling)
Finally, Rand, a gift for me! (Especially sweet since I missed out on all the bowling hotties at the Redactular.)
R+B, perhaps she is showing her age (not AZ since she is probably a young’in (I luv to mispell now), but there is a goman at work (a girl woman that is ) who I sent your Hottie card link to and her only reaction (only one visible anyway) was to ask another goman co-worker why all these guys shave their chest these days. She didn’t appreciate it when I asked her if she was just jealous, but her question stands out there. Shaving the ol’ noggin makes sense for athletes like b’ball players taking 1000 showers a week, but this goman wants to know…
That sock is Ms. Lewinsky’s. She last wore it in 1999.
I didn’t know that Fox News’ resident comedian was in our midst. Either that or it’s a transcript from one of Leno’s old monologues.
On another note: How many Gopher football games did this guy referee? Can he be blamed for some of the horse[redacted] calls that have taken place (out of bounds call on a clear touchdown catch, because they can’t tell the difference between the end zone and out of bounds paint schemes; Northwestern’s QB clearly coming up a yard short on a TD run but being given the TD anyway; etc)
I didn’t know I’d actually have a reason to distrust the Big Ten refs more than just their consistently mediocre performances.
I would have posted much, much earlier but I am still recovering from the shock of reading that PPP does not believe in proper grammar or punctuation. You mean that you just pound out whatever gibberish struggles forth from the grayest of your gray matter without a care in the world for the common rules of language that we all accept and that allow us to more fully understand our communications with one another, PPP? This completely new and totally unexpected revelation is leaving me feel lightheaded again. I think i might fain…
Is it bad to have a typo when you’re giving someone the business about their terrible grammar and incoherence?
yes
but U can B forgiven since it’s Xmas and Christo died 4 your sinsssss
Besides Rocket, how many times must I tell you….content, content, content not just packaging. After all, a monkee can be taught punctuation but can you bring him to water ?
I did have an English teacher that pushed punctuation and stylin’ so much she crushed spirit. I wonder if they ever found her….
To put this into perspective even a guy who would go by the name of “Rocket” (a compensation for something, no doubt) would understand. Do you think your hero, 1/2 day soon to be 1/4 day in the playoffs, runs by some color the numbers choreographed pattern (open your mind and see that image/analogy as “punctuation”..but stay with me rocket. Oops ! lower case) or does the guy run simply on instinct even, to use a most useful old term “runs for daylight” ?
One way, his way, is creative expression…one, yours, is fixed, mechanical rote. But if you want to continue hiding your apparent lack of creativity behind dots, dashes and apostrophes, cool with me. But, the only important thing for any writer is to be understood, and that I am, or I wouldn’t be able to so easily sting you guys through your thin hides…keep punctuating (is that even a word ??? Duh)
the only important thing for any writer is to be understood
How’s that working out for you, P3?
P3, I think you’d be “stinging our hides” more effectively if we could sift through more than 1/8 of what you write.
I sympathize with any and all English teachers that ever had to read your work. I mean, seriously, have some respect for the language.
I think P3 broke his own record by posting five consecutive comments. The internal dialogue in this guy’s would undoubtedly be frightening and cluttered with random points of inflection.
Dave, have you ever been paid to be a writer and I’m not talking about to-do Postee notes to yourself? and Stu, it’s working out just fine, since a complacent group like you fine young/old? drunks all singing in the same choir needs a little change of pace to stay fresh. Just look up “inbred” on Google and you might find the faces of some of the “writers” on this blog who haven’t had the nerve to offer up some bio or pict off themselves.
I understand know you don’t want anybody breaking into your boy’s chatty room (see the Clemens blog last night), but as far as I know this or the even more moronic Vikings Access are not for you B (maybe) students only. I was a valedictorian in a very large school, and I learned and have written quite successfully, so with you guys I can afford to dummy it down some. Sorry if you can’t deal with any of that…
it’s working out just fine, since a complacent group like you fine young/old? drunks all singing in the same choir
Is that like Clash of the Choirs? Because that would be awesome.
Danomouse,
I just realized what is so fun coming into your clubhouse and PPPing on the floor. It’s sorta like (read sorta as slang for sort of, since I know how formulaic you and the scholastic boyz are). Anyway, what’s most fun is that it feels like a fight between black and red ants and a solo ant is winning !!
PPP - By ‘check out the Clemens thread from last night’ are you referring to your posts at the end of the first thread from yesterday where you made some ridiculous claims about none of us responding despite it being on a thread that was 5 posts old, and after 7pm when many of the people who are regulars have stopped posting to avoid doing real work? I vaguely remember reading something from you there when I realized that when I had left my computer 6 hours earlier it happened to be on that thread… Frankly, I found it too dull to respond to.
I fear for the school with P3 as a former valedictorian, and the employer that paid him to write.
In fact, P3, I have a degree in technical and professional writing, so I have every right, and the expertise, to criticize your style. I am also in a position that pays me to write. Thank you for making assumptions that proceeded to make an ass out of you and umption.
No, Toonces, I was saying that (often not always) you guys just cackle on and on about some drunkalog or some thing that might be interesting on a one to one IM, but not on sports. At least, I (generally also not always) rip your Vikes or talk up other sports crappola. Yet, sometimes all those intertwining blogs sound like a church bookclub or a segment of Days of our Thighs (Lives)…It’s a little much that’s all.
Max McGee lives !!!
Dave, you must know then that tech writing is in a completely different ballpark from creative or opinion writing. Tech writers I’ve encountered often have worked for AOL or MSN and answer flow charts on tech lines in sub-continent India and are impossible to understand. But, the analogy remains. Tech writers are technical (thus your fascination with symbols like , ! ( ” while creative and/or opinion writers are …
..,(”.., I guess creative. But you guys write good manuals.
P3, you need to understand that technical writing is largely focused on understanding your audience and writing to them. If you write things that your audience doesn’t understand easily or doesn’t want to read, they aren’t going to. Hmmmm…I wonder how that applies here?
In other words, if you can’t appeal to your audience logically, emotionally, and/or credibly, you aren’t going to accomplish anything as a technical, creative, or opinion writer.
I told you before Dave. I’m not giving my A game here. As you said, I’m writing to this audience, and from what I read, most can only offer up syllable burps in return…like “Go Vikes !” lotta mindpower there..
I like to make people think, get them mad, go outside their envelopes ….much more fun than going all techy on them. After college, I actually wrote some manuals once…for Kawasaki sales…soooo boring. Good $$ but there comes a time when you realize it’s more fun to light up a nuthouse full of rabid fans like this blog. Infantile yes, but fun !!!
Max McGee lives !!
I’m sorry Randball, I may have asked you this once before:
I like Jerry Zgoda. He’s a heckuva nice guy and has written some of the best Strib sports/human interest stories I’ve read (other than yours and Dennis Anderson’s of course). So what did he do wrong to get stuck with the Wolves’ beat?
