StarTribune.com

“No. I don’t paint nudes. You misunderstood.”

Posted on February 21st, 2008 – 1:37 PM
By Michael Rand

The world is Tim Patch’s canvas. This has absolutely nothing to do with sports, and some people might find it offensive. But Sassbottom sent it to us, and it’s really the most unbelievable thing we’ve seen in a while, complete with picture. That’s all we know.

34 Responses to "“No. I don’t paint nudes. You misunderstood.”"

roughkat says:

February 21st, 2008 at 1:49 pm

Does he have some assistants pull him in on ropes and then flick paint at the canvas?

Clarence Swamptown says:

February 21st, 2008 at 1:51 pm

Is this just a continuation of the Scott Erickson Huntdown? Maybe that’s what the “P” in VORP stands for?

Stu says:

February 21st, 2008 at 1:52 pm

“…who calls himself Pricasso”

Of course he does.

The photo really does need to be seen to be believed.

Dave MN says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:05 pm

Man, it just doesn’t get any better than that

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Dont you think it would kind of hurt? Like when soap gets in the urethra (I hope I spelled that correctly).

roughkat says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:12 pm

Does he do oils or water colors?

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:16 pm

It said he is using canvas does that mean oil paints or can you use water colors/colours on canvas?

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:20 pm

I glad it was not a link to a You Tube video.

jama says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:21 pm

Is this something that I can open at work?

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:22 pm

Stu maybe you can call him Dickalangelo?

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:22 pm

Yes you can open it at work.

jama says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:22 pm

I’m sure he prefers Richardangelo

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Yeah I guees I never thought of that.

jama says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Gerald “Cupcake” Green will no longer be upset at the end of the Wolves bench. Now he will be upset at the end of the Rockets bench, he got traded.

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:27 pm

Wha’?

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Where did you here that Jama? I just looked at NBA.com and did not see it.

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:31 pm

It says the Rockets just traded for ex Gopher and Wolf Bobby Jackson.

jama says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:31 pm

http://nc.startribune.com/blogs/wolves/?p=72

Trading one expiring contract for another.

skolvikings says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:32 pm

Thank you, I like to stay up on trades.

Dave MN says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:34 pm

Is Bobby Jackson still a viable point guard or is he just filler at the end of the bench like Green was?

Dave MN says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Stu: I would have guessed Pric**kso, but that probably would have been overkill, eh?

jama says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:35 pm

He’s going to be their backup. He is replacing a guy that was real successful here, Mike James, who was part of the trade. That makes 4 teams in 2 years for Mikey.

fasolamatt says:

February 21st, 2008 at 2:51 pm

the most unbelievable thing we’ve seen in a while
Could it be a phallusy?

Stu says:

February 21st, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Could it be a phallusy?

Fasolamatt, everybody. Round of applause.

roughkat says:

February 21st, 2008 at 3:08 pm

If Green had won the dunk contest, he probably wouldn’t have been traded. Maybe he should have wished for that when blowing out that candle instead of just wishing to get in the Playboy party that night.

jama says:

February 21st, 2008 at 3:13 pm

fasolamatt

They just had auditions for Last Comic Standing at Acme here in Minneapolis. Did you give them your links?

Dave MN says:

February 21st, 2008 at 3:18 pm

jama - I can picture it.

Fasolamatt steps on stage and fires up the laptop and projector. Takes a sip of water. Clicks the first link. Waits for laughs. Takes another sip. Clicks again. No laughs… Fasolamatt orders a scotch on the rocks…slams scotch…gets laughs. Clicks on the next link…no laughs…tugs on tie, mops brow…

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 21st, 2008 at 3:22 pm

Sassbottom, now you gave me a new P for my name ! This schtick is as close to a gross out as anything I’ve seen, and I had a guy puke out a car window once and that didn’t bother me much (and I was in back)

Well, I had to try out the technique involved but the only problem I had was I could only paint the top of the canvas..strange phenom

Sassbottom says:

February 21st, 2008 at 3:33 pm

Wow … that paint is cold!

roughkat says:

February 21st, 2008 at 3:35 pm

I’m on the computer all day at work, so the last thing I want to do when I’m at open is fire up Compuserve. His wife must really hate him…

Paul Peter Paulos says:

February 21st, 2008 at 3:42 pm

I hope the guy doesn’t use turpentine when cleaning his utensil. Do you think the guy is married or would that be double dipping ?

Tuna Can says:

February 21st, 2008 at 4:30 pm

Gosh, that’s such a crazy story Sassbottom. I wonder where in the world you got that????????????

My comment on this story is — why didn’t DiCaprio go with this method of drawing when he drew the girl in Titanic? That would have really given the film the Oscar buzz it was lacking…

Sassbottom says:

February 21st, 2008 at 5:23 pm

Tuna Can: -1

Dave MN says:

February 22nd, 2008 at 7:43 am

Negative points…

You got served, sucka!

/slams head in door