Quick Proprietor note: This site might have been around for a long time, but it feels brand new to us. We will be abusing it often. Jon, whaddya have to say?

Happy Saturday to one and all — and it’s a big Saturday, too. Not only do we have college hockey and college hoops and all sorts of other excitement, but with four state championship games today in boys’ basketball, the winter sports season is finally over. Your regular host, Mr. Rand, will be checking out around 10:00 tonight; he’ll be decommissioned and placed into cold storage until football season. Until then, you’ll be hosted by a finite number of monkeys on typewriters (budget concerns have forced a cutback — sadly, the belt has already been tightened from “infinite” to “near infinite.”)

I’m kidding, of course: baseball season officially kicks off on Monday. (No rest for the weary.) On with some links:

*Via Deadspin, Homer Derby has video footage of a skiing outing with the Miller Park Racing Sausages. Keep an eye out for two things: first, the bratwurst falling down, hurting himself, and having to be dragged off by ski patrol, presumably for “disposal” at John Kruk’s house. Second, look out for Lou Dobbs, dressed as an Italian sausage, taking out the chorizo.

*Today’s link that really has nothing to do with sports: West Virginia engineering students can build one heck of a beer pong table. This is the thing about engineering students; with almost no exceptions, they’re either extreme geeks or extreme drunks (or sometimes both.) I’d be a lot more excited about this, but there’s no way this table is lasting more than one football season without getting set on fire.

*Here’s video of a college hockey brawl that, at one point, involves two guys in a stick-swinging fight. The video is twenty years old, but — surprise, surprise — one of the teams involved is the University of North Dakota. Nobody dresses up in a offensive costume of any kind, but otherwise it’s a classic Fighting Sioux hockey video.

*And finally: Todd Bertuzzi’s excuse for nearly killing Steve Moore: “Just following orders.” He’s managed to drag former Canucks coach, and current Kings coach, Marc Crawford into the mess, by suggesting that Bertuzzi was following the terms of his contract when he attacked Steve Moore. I’m fine with dragging Crawford into it; but I am not fine with the fact that Bertuzzi interpreted the statement “make Moore pay the price” as “jump Moore from behind, even though he’s already had one fight in the game.” Sure, Crawford deserves some blame, and so does Brad May. But that Bertuzzi is trying to weasel out of it — when he and no one else sucker-punched Moore, then drove his head into the ice, ending Moore’s hockey career and permanently injuring him — is a second act of utter cowardice on Bertuzzi’s part. It’s absolutely disgusting.

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