Wednesday (Soooooooze) Edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on April 2nd, 2008 – 8:37 AMBy Michael Rand
We had a rather unofficial RandBall gathering last night, with the focal point being a chance to meet the one and only Sooze. For those who are convinced she’s only an internet rumor, Dave MN and Roughkat also met her, as did fellow Strib blogger Howard Sinker. A gathering at a certain watering hole roughly at the corner of Hennepin and Franklin — one of our favorite places, and now one of Sooze’s — proved to be a good time for all. We think we got the best end of the deal, though, when everyone else left to go to the game while we were spared that clunker. Joker showed up five minutes after everyone else had already left; when we left him around 7:45, we’re guessing he was already plotting potential breakup lines for a relationship that hadn’t yet started. One final note: We spoke to Lizzy via Sooze’s phone, and she swears she’s coming here sometime in May. Lies, all lies. She was at the NIT Final Four and it was getting kind of loud (seriously), but we think we also heard her say she no longer likes the Patriots or Red Sox and hopes they never win a championship ever again. That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.
Quick thoughts: Not to be rude, but it would be just fantastic if Justin Morneau would get a hit. A home run wouldn’t kill the ballclub, either. … Indiana is rubbing a little Tom Crean on its coaching problem. … No Rasheed, no Billups, no Rip, no problem.
Mystery link! (No fasola. Denied). This was more than a decade ago.
16 Responses to "Wednesday (Soooooooze) Edition: Wha’ Happened?"
RANDBALL ONE-ACT PLAY THEATRE PRESENTS:
LIZZY ON THE PHONE
SCENE: a Minneapolis pub. RAND, SOOZE, DAVE, and ROUGHKAT are seated at a table. ROUGHKAT has just put $10 into the CD jukebox to play “How Can We Be Lovers If We Can’t Be Friends” repeatedly. SOOZE’s phone rings.
SOOZE: Hello?
LIZZY: WELKAH! HAHVAHD! AHHHHH!
SOOZE: Rand, it’s for you.
(SOOZE passes phone to RAND)
ROUGHKAT: Who is it, Sooze?
SOOZE: It’s Lizzy.
ROUGHKAT: Neat! Does she celebrate Michael Bolton’s entire catalog? Because that’s what I do.
SOOZE: I don’t know, but I doubt it.
ROUGHKAT: That’s too bad. His version of “Dock of the Bay” is so much better
than Otis Redding’s.
DAVE: Go Gophers!
RAND: Hello?
LIZZY: MIKEY! WHY’D YA BOYS LET GO OF BIG PAPI? ARE YA RETAHDED? ARE YA FROM GLOUCESTAH? AHHHHH!
RAND hangs up, passes phone back to SOOZE.
RAND: Wrong number.
THE END
Stu, you never let me down. Although you could have extended the play with:
(Joker enters bar)
JOKER: You must be Sooze.
SOOZE (Shocked): Yes, I am Sooze.
JOKER: Well, before this goes any further I just want to let you know that your mom is way hotter than you.
The End.
…
I can imagine Roughkat saying, “Neat.”
Credit for Lizzy’s accent goes entirely to BDD
I actually didn’t say anything because I was stuffing my face with the free fried chicken. Avoid the hot sauce though unless you enjoy breaking out into a cold sweat on the spot.
Good times last night, except of course, for the actual game.
Woa woa woa…. no one said ANYTHING about there being free fried chicken. Why were we not informed of this beforehand?!?!?
Roughkat, I cannot assume responsibility for the play on the field. Good to meet you last night, albeit briefly. The stress level tends to rise with 2 kids under 3 years old so it was hectic.
Quipster - Thanks for the tix. I promise to either buy you a beer at the next redactular or watch The Big Lebowski while drinking a white russian. Whichever comes first.
Isn’t Michael Bolton Supermixx just being redundant?
Also, congrats to Sooze and her friend for not getting shot during their trip to the big city. Maybe you’ll even come back.
I can’t believe Sooze survived her big city adventure. I’m sure Winona will seem as comfortable and welcoming as a warm blanket and a plate of cookies after last night. Uptown is a scary place.
Not quite as scary as that game last night. I played “beat the traffic” largely because there were some things I needed to deal with concerning my recent foray into the world of homebuying…and because the game was an unmitigated disaster. Can anyone on this team, other than Delmon, hit consistently? Can I get any more bent out of shape after only two games?
I want it noted, and both Rand and Sooz can attest to this, I DO NOT have any sort of Boston accent.
Should I just put the disclaimer out there of “Don’t worry…it’ll end badly” to start it off? That way there isn’t any disappointment at the end
Seriously, she sounds like she’s from Iowa.
Last night was amazing, aside from the game — where I was anhilated by the 5th inning, thank Baby Jesus — but it was really lovely to meet you guys. Two hours was not enough!
Pretty sure that certain watering hole is a piece of heaven. I will be there after the game this Saturday. With bells on.
Apologies to Lizzy for misrepresenting her accent. It won’t happen again, unless I get bored.
I do believe there was a moment that went a little something like…
SOOZE: Where the hell is Stu?!
RAND: [insert suburb here]
SOOZE: Laaaaaaaaaaame.
The end.
I hate it when they’re right.
In any case Stu - COWamunga!! I’m pre-voting you and ain’t no DNC not gonna seat me at next week’s COW Convention.
