Wednesday (Don Koharski) edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on May 7th, 2008 – 7:52 AMBy Michael Rand
Instead of dwelling on last night’s near no-hitter, we will give you just one quick statistic and then move on. According to Stew Thornley’s exhaustive research, from 1961-2000 in the Major Leagues, there were 110 no-hitters completed through nine innings; there were another 114 near-misses broken up in the ninth inning. So really, Joe Mauer’s hit in the ninth inning wasn’t unexpected. The odds were in the Twins’ favor. They had it all along.
Now, moving to a new feature, which Jon must have subliminally sensed we were pondering. Why else would he send us a link to the 20-year anniversary (which was yesterday) of the infamous meltdown in the Devils/Bruins NHL playoff series in which Devils coach Jim Schoenfeld went after referee Don Koharski and unleashed a tirade that led to replacement referees working the next game (anniversary tomorrow). The kicker lines from the tirade are, “You fat pig” and “Have another donut,” which really doesn’t sound very nice at all. But it does lead us to our fun new feature called: “If it happened now.” We’re sure the Koharski flap received plenty of press 20 years ago. But how would it be handled in today’s supercharged, white-hot NOW media?
Night of: Lead story on SportsCenter, with the clip being played a minimum of three times per show.
Second day: Top item in most blogs of note, complete with video clip and witty banter; perhaps one or two enterprising blogs might be able to start selling “Have another donut” t-shirts almost immediately. … Continued repeated showings of the clip on SportsCenter. Heavy discussion item on talk radio and shows such as “Around the Horn.” … Overall sentiment: Schoenfeld was out of line and should be embarrassed. Overall sentiment from hockey fans: Koharski had it coming.
Third day: More legs for the story because this is the day replacement refs are working. More clip replays; perhaps a montage of other famous meltdowns. … Outraged columnists wondering what kind of example this is setting for the kids.
Fourth day: Analysis of how the replacement refs did. … Hockey blogs frantically compiling lists of 10 worst calls in Don Koharski’s career. … A general putting to bed of the matter, except among the bored and/or lazy. But don’t take our word for it: Check out the clip for yourself:
Fasola-link! Brawndo.
25 Responses to "Wednesday (Don Koharski) edition: Wha’ Happened?"
Wow, that ref flopped worse than Peter Forsberg. But you really think hoc-key makes it to the top of SportsCenter for a little tirade?
That ref must have taken a couple of classes at Vlade Divac’s school of flopping. That was pretty humorous.
I sure hope Rand works in the ChiSox blowup dolls into today’s banter.
I wonder if anyone asked Jim Schoenfeld his opinion of Brian Bellows. I bet he thought Bellows was a superstar.
As for what would happen today, I remember this being a fairly big story when it happened, so I imagine that it would go supernova in this climate.
I’d guess that we would see a WWE type throwdown on ESPN. They would bring in Barry Melrose, Skip Bayless, Will Leitch, and Nick Punto(He’s scrappy). The four of them would argue how Blogs rock/suck and how refs are the worst people on earth and then Punto would slide headfirst into 1st base.
A few questions:
At the very end of the clip, what exactly is the guy in the yellow jersey trying to do to the ref? Some sort of “Blades of Glory” prequel?
Was Don Koharski a hockey referee before or after he was quarterback for the Packers?
What day would the “if this happened in the NBA, they’d shut the league down” comments begin? That’s a post-NHL-brouhaha staple.
jama: I was hoping you’d say Punto would slide headfirst into Barry Melrose.
That ref would have been blown over by a stiff breeze.
Worst
Randball
Day
EVER!!!
Hurry up Rand! Or I might have to get some work done!
I’ve had to get my fix elsewhere. Rand is an unreliable pusher…
Dave
Send us the link
Ten bucks says Rands’s on the treadmill, nipples chafing.
And I have my next Fantasy Football team name: Nipples Chafing.
AZGopherGirl
Pictures please.
Joker, I’ve basically been perusing all of the other standbys (Deadspin, TBL, Fire Joe Morgan, Awful Announcing, KSK, etc)
jama describes life on the job:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAJXki87vgw (ht: Twin Cities Sidewalks) (lots of bad language)
WAKE UP RAND! It’s just one girl going #2 in a cup, and the other one eating it. You don’t need to stare at it anymore…nothing else happens.
fasola
The must have filmed that before I shaved. I look much more professional now.
Joker
Not true. There is some vomitting. Followed by some gurgling. Throw in a little ’spit’ swapping. I can’t believe that didn’t win an oscar.
“Naw, man. I wanted to get a car and drive the [redacted] out of it”
That line is up there with “Jagerbombs”
Geez! I had a 2.5 hour meeting this morning. I’m just one man. But I’ll take your grumpiness as a compliment.
“Geez! I had a 2.5 hour meeting this morning. I’m just one man. But I’ll take your grumpiness as a compliment.”
Did anyone go into the bathroom to see if you were okay?
Jama: If anyone ever asks if I’m okay after coming back from the bathroom I always tell them that I fell in.
Dave
“Do you see me walking Bow-Legged?” Usually works pretty well too.
