Thursday (Go-Go’s Cycle) edition: Wha’ Happened?
Posted on May 8th, 2008 – 8:15 AMBy Michael Rand
How do you tell a rainbow, “Hey, don’t be a rainbow. Don’t spread love and goodness after the rain. Don’t be fleeting and fickle, all or nothing.” You don’t. And that is precisely why you also don’t tamper with Carlos Gomez. Some nights, he’s going to hit the field with his giant puppy paws and his mouth wide open, and he’s going to make a mess of it all. And some nights, like last night, he’s going to be a rainbow. He has a terrible OBP and swings at pitches that would make a young Torii Hunter blush. But he also can do this: one night after the Twins get one measly hit, and almost two hours after a rain delay, Go-Go hits a leadoff home run, then sprints around the bases with a home run trot faster than most of us trying to score from first on a double. He follows later with a triple, then a double, then a single. Cycle. Four hits, all the colors of the rainbow. A pot of gold. We’re 32 games into the season, and our friend Jim already has an intense, Puckett-in-his-prime baseball crush on Go-Go. We’re pretty sure he’s getting a key made right now, just in case Gomez needs a place to crash sometime. And he’s not alone. We fully intended this to be a post about our favorite one-game statistical accomplishments. But we got sidetracked. Let’s get back to business.
Baseball: It’s the cycle. Yeah, it can be kind of fluky, but so can a no-hitter. We dig the versatility. Love it.
Basketball: Triple-double. Again, the versatility. Aggressive play (scoring), selflessness (assists) and grit (rebounding). With one notable exception.
Hockey/soccer: The natural hat trick. Three goals in a row without anybody else on either team scoring. Loud and clear. You are awesome.
Football: Whenever certain players reach certain yardage thresholds or get into the end zone. Fantasy football is killing us all.
Golf: The albatross. Because it usually takes some guts. And you can’t argue with three under par on a hole.
Feel free to add on and/or disagree.
Fasola-link! Oh, Mr. Redlegs, no! Won’t someone think of the children?
27 Responses to "Thursday (Go-Go’s Cycle) edition: Wha’ Happened?"
Basketball- Quadruple Double. Oscar Robertson averaged a Triple Double over a whole season, which is absolutely amazing. That tells you that Triple Doubles aren’t that rare. Jason Kidd has over 150 and I wouldn’t say he is that unbelievable. I think a 30-20 game is more impressive than a Triple Double.
I never knew a double Eagle was considered an Albatross. Those aren’t that rare, I hit almost one per round on Tiger Woods ‘06.
Perfect game, 50 points, natural hat trick, 200 yards rushing.
- Cribbage: 29
- 301: D20, T20, T20, T20, T15, D18
- Washers: Two Cups to negate and win. I’ve experienced it, and it was a thing of grace and beauty.
- Archery: Splitting the arrow, Robin-Hood style.
- Bocce: The 8-point swing on the last ball (Usually knocking the jack deep, but more impressive if you bocce the other team’s 4 instead. Never been recorded, but I can dream.)
- Dodgeball: The 3-man swing. Or Sudden Death. Or Kate and Joyce.
Not only am I getting a key made, but I plan on making him a pancake breakfast in the morning.
RE: Mr. Redlegs. Jayne Mansfield is not laughing.
“301: D20, T20, T20, T20, T15, D18″
I have seen this done. Twice. Both against me. Both in a “loser pays for and drinks a shot the winner calls” format of bar darts.
My memory from there, somehow, is fuzzy. Long live small towns!
Don’t forget the 8-ender in curling, or the perfect score in figure skating.
Blernsball: Grand Slam Blern.
Randball: Using the Randball car for both offense and defense in the third inning, while scoring at least e/pi times.
301: D20, T20, T20, T20, T15, D18
I second Stensation. This is insanely difficult to do, particularly when cheap tap beer is in play.
Stu
They don’t sell cheap tap beer in Stearns county do they?
jama, of course not. They only drink Hoegaarden in Stearns County…
If you drink directly from the giant vat that beer is made in, is that considered drinking tap beer?
Bar fighting: “The Rosemount Waltz” - Getting kicked out of every bar in Rosemount within the same night. Hasn’t been repeated since Sidepocket McGill did it in 1926.
What’s the cycle equivalent when it comes to fornicating? I think we need to tap into our Randball “Player” Joker for an answer to this one.
Jama-
Are you looking for a RandBall “cycle equivalent” over and above the already universally excepted standard of reaching first base, second base, etc? Just want to make sure.
What’s the cycle equivalent when it comes to fornicating?
Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Other?
Mineral? I must be getting old because you got me there.
I hate to crush the pretty rainbow metphor, but according to my friend ROY G BIV, there are 7 colors in the rainbow, not just 4.
AZ: You and your books…
Jama
Fornicating cycle is called the Trifecta: One on one with a female. Then a Three-some (2 women, one guy) in the same night. Only counts as a trifecta if the woman from the one on one is not included in the three-some.
Yeah, but there was rain, you see. And there were all these colors. And … oh, never mind.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.
I was thinking maybe a Red Head, a Blonde, and Brunette all in consecutive nights. Okay I have officially taken this about as far as I can without getting offensive.
jama:
Mineral = hole in the ground?
Joker:
“Scoring an own goal” isn’t part of the trifecta? I would think that would be the equivalent of a single.
Dave
That’s more like sacrifice bunting to move the “runners” up.
