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Friday (Movie Quotes) edition: Wha’ Happened?

Posted on May 9th, 2008 – 8:29 AM
By Michael Rand

papajohns.JPGLast night was 23 cent pizza night at Papa John’s in the Cleveland area, the result of the Pappy (what we used to call said pizza place in college, when we ate there roughly three times a week) taunting LeBron James with “Crybaby” t-shirts at a playoff game. It seems as though everything went fairly well, but we do have to take exception with one quote from Tim North, one of Papa John’s vice presidents:

“We’re certainly a bit surprised about how darn popular this is.”

Sir, you were offering 23 cent pizzas for one day during an economic recession. If we lived in Cleveland, we might have camped out overnight. If anything, you should be surprised there were no deaths by trampling. (Photo by Ed Suba, AP via Akron Beacon-Journal).

OK, now on to the movie quotes. These are all edited quotes from movies that are fantastic to watch on cable TV because of the ridiculous job of taking out the swear words. We can only find/think of seven specific examples (please add more in the comments if you can). And please, do not put the original quotes in the comments. We’ll start off easy:

1. Son of a buck, Godfather, what have they done to you!

2. Who do you think I am, Christopher Columbo?

3. You racist melon father!

4. Yippee Ki-Yay Mister Falcon!

5. This is what happens when you meet a stranger in the Alps.

6. Where’d you get the beauty scar, tough guy, eating pineapple?

7. Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by Wally Wick here.

Fasola-link! For Stu, he says.

Coming next: another very special RandBall Q&A.

27 Responses to "Friday (Movie Quotes) edition: Wha’ Happened?"

Stu says:

May 9th, 2008 at 8:36 am

23 cent pizzas are the best thing to happen to Cleveland since the Cuyahoga River quit burning.

And #7 is Ghostbusters.

Dave MN says:

May 9th, 2008 at 8:41 am

when we ate there roughly three times a week

I’m surprised you’re alive. Hands down, worst pizza.

Brandon says:

May 9th, 2008 at 8:45 am

Sorry for doing this, but I actually noted a few of my favorite edited-for-TV lines in this post: http://www.worldofb.com/wordpress/?p=408

So, that’s something to read.

(#5 is Lebowski?)

Dave MN says:

May 9th, 2008 at 8:47 am

#4 is Die Hard
#5 is The Big Lebowski
is #1 The Godfather? (It seems like it would be too easy if it was)

stensation says:

May 9th, 2008 at 8:50 am

5. Lebowski, yes.

4. Any one of the Die Hard flicks. John McLane also apparently doesn’t give a “spit” about terrorist’s walkie-talkie threats.

The Hootie says:

May 9th, 2008 at 8:59 am

#1 is Old School, yes?

Michael Rand says:

May 9th, 2008 at 9:00 am

1 actually is godfather.

Stu says:

May 9th, 2008 at 9:03 am

Hands down, worst pizza.

But they give you a garlic butter sauce with every pie!

Joker says:

May 9th, 2008 at 9:26 am

I’m going to go ahead and take credit for #4 being Die Hard 2 and being in this post. I also would like to give credit where credit is due. If Clemens hadn’t been a pedophile, this would not have been possible.

http://ww3.startribune.com/blogs/randball/2008/05/06/roger-clemens-phone-commercial-remixed/#comments

Super Rookie says:

May 9th, 2008 at 9:33 am

Since when are we in a recession?

Stu says:

May 9th, 2008 at 9:36 am

Since when are we in a recession?

Also, the ceiling isn’t leaking.

StraightCashHomey says:

May 9th, 2008 at 9:54 am

It takes two people to carry out my favorite edited movie quote, because at its best, the voices were so different it was beautifully obvious.

“Strike this (brief pause) guy (brief pause) out.”

roughkat says:

May 9th, 2008 at 10:05 am

2 - National Lampoons Vacation

Has anyone ever waited in line for some krazee promotion like this? I haven’t but probably would. I just can’t think of anything good worth waiting 90 minutes like that for. If I was hungry for pizza, I don’t think I could wait that long. I bet Dominos was a short wait.

Super Rookie says:

May 9th, 2008 at 10:07 am

Also, the ceiling isn’t leaking.

They fixed the ceiling.

disco says:

May 9th, 2008 at 10:14 am

@roughkat

we have a pizza buffet place called Pizza Ranch here in Sioux Falls. When they had their grand opening, they gave out pizza punch cards to the first 50 people. My wife and I waited 30 minutes (during that time they gave us some coffee and dessert pizza), and now we get one free large pizza per month for an entire year.

Actual retail value ~ 200 bucks

was definitely worth it

StraightCashHomey says:

May 9th, 2008 at 10:17 am

Waiting makes me angry. How’s that for a statement on society?

Mike M. says:

May 9th, 2008 at 10:28 am

StraightCash,

“Let’s cut through the crap, Vaughn. I only got one thing to say to you –strike this turkey out.”

Classic.

Stu says:

May 9th, 2008 at 10:31 am

“It’s not. I’ll show you the study.”

Stu says:

May 9th, 2008 at 10:32 am

I just can’t think of anything good worth waiting 90 minutes like that for.

Well…

jama says:

May 9th, 2008 at 10:39 am

Stu

Can I get you a pen?

StraightCashHomey says:

May 9th, 2008 at 10:42 am

Mike,

“Turkey” is a nice addition.

Stu says:

May 9th, 2008 at 11:03 am

Coming next: another very special RandBall Q&A.

MR: So, Shakira, if the Wolves fall to 3 or lower in the Lottery, who do you think they will take?

S: Shakes hips suggestively

MR: To follow up on that, do you think if they get Rose or Beasley they can potentially get to .500 next year? The Western Conference is brutal.

S: Writhes

MR: Fair point. Finally, that video where you and Beyonce look exactly the same? That video is so awesome.

S: Blows nose suggestively

MR: Thanks for your time.

Mike M. says:

May 9th, 2008 at 11:03 am

SCH,

Listen for “turkey” next time. It’s in there…

fasolamatt says:

May 9th, 2008 at 11:05 am

Stu:

I’m thinking either Buzz Bissinger or Patrick Reusse.

Nathan says:

May 9th, 2008 at 11:15 am

+1 To Stu.

I can show you the study.

Super Rookie says:

May 9th, 2008 at 11:25 am

Your boobs will get bigger.

Jon says:

May 9th, 2008 at 11:26 am

disco: +1 for the mention of Pizza Ranch.

fasolamatt: +1 for today’s fasolalink, which is uproariously funny.

Stu: +1 for, you know, general purposes. Also the Shakira post.