Guest post COW: What Dave MN learned last night
Posted on May 12th, 2008 – 12:31 PMBy Michael Rand
Dave MN took the unusual step of sending his COW post before we could even give it to him. Thankfully, he was the winner. Otherwise, that would have been awkward. He delivers the goods on his baseball viewing experience right about now:
The Twins made their first appearance (of three) this season on Sunday Night Baseball last night. I wanted to be sure that I took this opportunity to learn from Joe Morgan and John Miller, top team of the World Wide Leader. I mean, they so rarely grace the Twins telecasts with their unique brand of baseball talkery, I couldn’t just let it go by.
Here’s what I learned:
*It’s hard to catch a knuckleball pitcher.
*The only reason why the ball doesn’t go out of the park every time that David Ortiz makes contact with it is that he hit it wrong somehow (top of the ball, bottom of the ball, etc).
*The two hardest positions in baseball are shortstop (Jeter’s position) and center field, unless there is a knuckleball pitcher, in which case it is catcher (See also #1).
*It’s surprising that the Twins don’t have more home runs because they play in such a “home run ballpark” (The Twins then hit two home runs in four batters).
*Joe Mauer’s last name can also be pronounced “Moy-er”.
*The Red Sox have a “potent offense.” It can be described in no other way.
*“There should be a rule for knuckleball pitchers.” Said rule was not explained. I’m assuming the rule is that every time the catcher doesn’t catch the ball, the fielding team gets a run. If this were the case, the Red Sox would have been up 43-5 in the third inning.
*The most interesting footrace to see out of the players on the Twins and Red Sox teams is Coco Crisp vs. Jacoby Ellsbury.
*Joe Morgan used to “run”. Coco Crisp “flies.”
Some variation on point #1 again.
*Delmon Young’s “arm” is more noteworthy than Michael Cuddyer’s.
*When a great catch on a bases-loaded line drive is made by Mike Lamb, it is a “good base-running play by the Red Sox.”
Finally, no matter how much/little time is left in the game, there’s “plenty of time for the Red Sox potent offense.”
I’m going to write a book called, Everything I Know About Baseball I Learned from Joe and John (subtitle: It’s hard to catch a knuckleball pitcher).
14 Responses to "Guest post COW: What Dave MN learned last night"
After watching 3 innings of that game on ESPN I learned why firejoemorgan.com exists. I will never complain about Bert again.*
*At least until I forget how bad Morgan is again.
Gritty post, Dave, but I still stand by my opinion that this post can’t hold up in the postseason. You may be able to be COW during the regular season when other guys aren’t commenting well, but once you get to the postseason, teams like “Stu” and “Fasolamatt” will win, because they’re set up for the postseason of commenting. You aren’t cosistent enough and you don’t do the little things.
/Joe
Nicely done, David.
Brandon, you are so right. I was only the COW because the other teams were off their games. Any team can run off a five day commenting streak, but not just any team can be cosistent enough with their intangibles to do it over the long haul.
Oh yeah, and the Twins play on Astroturf. That’s why the Red Sox infielders couldn’t field.
Dave MN: Watching baseball so I don’t have to.
Though baseball did deliver my favorite partial headline of the weekend here in AZ -
“Unit scratched”
I have heard those cups are itchy.
AZ
It’s not the cup so much as the jock strap.
Good to know, jama.
AZ, these are professional athletes. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the scratching would be due to a more nefariously transmitted foe…
Yeah, those chickenpox sure do itch.
Maybe said unit was being “self serviced” wearing one of these
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Alley/8973/som_pics/glove.jpg
Well done, Mr. MN.
forgot to mention Morgans gem of a 10 minute in depth analysis of timing a pitch….”the slower the pitch, the more time you have to recognize it”
Ben, was it me or was that whole “timing the pitch” bit totally stolen from the Sport Science episode on FSN?
Dave - would you mind continuing this type of post (whenever the locals are on national TV) even if it’s via the commenting section? It’s like you can hear the rusty wheels turning inside Morgan’s head before every tidbit comes out. Well done sir.
