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We have a Mark Chmura jersey sighting

Posted on May 12th, 2008 – 10:45 AM
By Michael Rand

chmura.jpgThe Zoner snapped that picture while on vacationing at the Magic Kingdom. Disney would be so proud. In fairness to Mark Chmura, he was found not guilty of his alleged crimes. Then again, we can’t forget even the comparatively tame allegations:

Gessert’s daughter Jamie, a Memorial student, was hosting the party, and the youths were all wound up, throwing down beers, sea breezes and other concoctions. The party was in full swing at 3:30 a.m. when a surprise came knocking.

Chmura and Gessert are friends, and according to the alleged victim’s sworn complaint, when Chmura walked in the door, the atmosphere electrified.

The high school football players at the party all jockeyed for position around the Packer. He obliged them, posing for pictures and signing autographs. Chmura reportedly impressed the kids by prank-calling his teammates and leaving funny messages on their voicemail. After a while, the alleged victim says in her statement, Chmura appeared “really drunk” and started taunting the partygoers.

“You call this a party?” he said, according to her statement. “Where’s all the alcohol?”

He allegedly introduced the students to “beer pong,” a drinking game whose object is to bounce a ping-pong ball into cups of beer lined up on either side of a ping-pong table. When someone makes it in, the opposing team has to drink.

Oh, Wisconsin. Thank you for this eternal comeback to the Love Boat scandal.

9 Responses to "We have a Mark Chmura jersey sighting"

Dave MN says:

May 12th, 2008 at 11:05 am

“beer pong,” a drinking game whose object is to bounce a ping-pong ball into cups of beer lined up on either side of a ping-pong table.

This game is available for the Wii. It’s is sneakily named “Ping Cup”.

http://www.gamespot.com/video/941690/6177304/game-party-official-movie-1

jama says:

May 12th, 2008 at 11:09 am

I sure am glad that the Bears never have players doing stupid [redacted] like this. Oh wait, crap.

Dave MN says:

May 12th, 2008 at 11:11 am

I sure am glad that the Bears never have good players doing stupid [redacted] like this. Oh wait, crap.

Fixed

Brandon says:

May 12th, 2008 at 11:35 am

Chmura is like the perfect combination of Billy Madison and The Waterboy. And I mean that in the worst way possible.

fasolamatt says:

May 12th, 2008 at 11:51 am

Some days, Rand has the easiest job in America. This appears to be one of them.

jama says:

May 12th, 2008 at 12:11 pm

+1 fasola

Don’t forget he needs to get his 6 miles in today too though. Those nips sure are a chaffing.

Joker says:

May 12th, 2008 at 12:19 pm

6 MILES??? Great, so much for getting another post today.

Clarence Swamptown says:

May 12th, 2008 at 12:31 pm

“Those nips sure are a chaffing”

Classic Dylan song.