The Internets: Joe Mauer needs your help
Posted on June 9th, 2008 – 2:34 PMBy Michael Rand
Perhaps impressed by his recent home run binge, fans helped Joe Mauer make up about 30,000 votes on Jason Varitek in the race to be the AL’s starting catcher in the all-star game. Mauer, known for leisurely reclining in his hammock, will surely not be putting in the hard work needed to be chosen. So it is up to you to make it happen. He still trails by 51K votes. Oh, and Justin Morneau is in second place, too.
*Lamar Odom perhaps could have altered the message on his charity T-shirt to be less, well, incorrect and/or offensive.
*T.O. to be tested for drugs more often. This apparently has nothing to do with those driveway pushups, which is surprising.
*Euro 2008 liveblog. The Netherlands lead Italy 2-0!
*Marcus Robinson: retiring as a Bear. But what of D’Wayne Bates?
28 Responses to "The Internets: Joe Mauer needs your help"
Oh yeah, and start up a write-in campaign for Alexi Casilla.
Marcus Robinson: retiring as a Bear. But what of D’Wayne Bates?
If Bates wants to retire as a Bear, he’ll have to be hirsute and gay.
Update:
Jesse Crain is in with a runner on first and one out.
That runner will come around to score, I’m telling you right now.
“Marcus Robinson: retiring as a Bear. But what of D’Wayne Bates?”
In his defense, even though he set some franchise records for the Bears, I think he would have done even better if they hadn’t gone through 22 QBs in the last 22 years.
Tah-dah! Can I call ‘em or what?
“Jesse Crain is in with a runner on first and one out.”
You’re an ass Dave.
Jesse Crain: Making my negativity reality since 2006
Dave
I’m not sure if you wrote that before or after the HR but if it was before. Thanks for nothing you jinx.
Oh, it was before. And I don’t need to jinx Jesse Crain, he does just fine on his own.
If the Twins have 13 pitchers on the roster why do they use the same 3 relievers every game? It seems like Crain, Reyes, and Ricon pitch almost every day.
Jesse has also seemed to forget the whole “pitch ‘em inside” mantra that Perkins used for the first 5 1/3 innings…
I think Gardy’s brain is stuck in 2005 and 2006. He’s totally forgotten last year and everything that’s happened so far this year.
Is there a good reason that Perkins was pulled? I’m not watching the game so I hoping there was another reason other than the fact that he walked Thome and had thrown 93 pitches.
Was he all over the place like Joker at a Pron convention?
I don’t know what Pron is but I think Joker knows what I am talking about.
Pron was the porn they made that took place in a video game. They raced bikes that made walls and then [redacted].
Link the Mauer vote to a Teen Vogue website and it will all be over. Varitek wouldn’t stand a chance against Mauer’s minions.
jama
Please tell me Chicago drafted this guy…
http://ballhype.com/story/shane_longest_putting_porn_stars_to_shame/
For the record, I have never been to a porn convention, but would not pass up the opportunity
Joker,
I’ve seen pictures from where people have gone to porn conventions, and it’s about as insane as you would imagine.
Favorite use of a porn convention in a movie: The Girl Next Door.
High schoolers go to porn convention…hilarity ensues.
Et tu, Guerrier?
There goes the lead. Ouch
Dave
Favorite line from that scene in the movie:
Porn star’s boyfriend named Mule says, “You gotta use her in one of your movies. She’s so good! You wanna take her for a throw? At least feel her [redacted]”
Joker
You guessed it. Shane Longest is currently a member, ha-hu you said member, of the Chicago Bears. He will probably stay with the team until the weather turns cold and Shane Longest turns into Shane Average Length.
I think Guerrier just wanted to say he faced all the White Sox players. I don’t think doing it in one inning is the way to go about it though.
jama
Too many words. Shane Shriveled.
I like Shane Man that Water was Cold.
Wow, Holland 3-0 over Italy? It’s not totally surprising that they won, but that wasn’t even close.
jama
He shouldn’t worry about getting too cold. It’s not like they’ll get into field goal range, let alone score a touchdown to kick an extra point. He’ll be able to stand by the heaters the whole time.
Marcus Robinson retiring as a Bear is one step up from Bill Schroeder retiring as a Packer. Four years after his last NFL action.
